


oh my love (spare my blood)

by BlackAngelis



Series: nightshade (won't you take me away?) [2]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Because Dany deserved it, Bittersweet Ending, Descent into Madness, Duty, Duty Is The Death of Love, F/M, Ghosts, Guilt, Just character development, Love is the death of duty, Mad Queen Daenerys Targaryen, Minor Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen, Nightmares, No Bashing, Regret, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:15:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 36,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23915188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackAngelis/pseuds/BlackAngelis
Summary: He sees the ashes in the streets and the devastating flames and the glint of madness in her purple eyes and he loves her, he loves her so much that it hurts but he just can't-"Jorah," she says, bells ringing in her silvery hair. Her smile is gentle (oh, he loves her)."There's somewhere I'd like to go. Somewhere very far away."Or,Jorah witnesses the beginning of Daenerys's reign of terror.
Relationships: Jorah Mormont & Jon Snow, Jorah Mormont & Sansa Stark, Jorah Mormont/Daenerys Targaryen, Sansa Stark & Daenerys Targaryen, Yara Greyjoy & Daenerys Targaryen
Series: nightshade (won't you take me away?) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1613602
Comments: 90
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is the second part of a series taking place after season 8 in which Cersei, Jorah and Daenerys survived. It's not necessary to have read the first part (which followed Cersei and Tyrion) to understand what's going on here.  
> I hope you'll like it!  
> (English isn't my mother tongue, I apologize for the mistakes I may have made.)

_If I look back, I am lost._

This old mantra comes back to her mind as she looks at her army. They cheer her - the mother of dragons, the conqueror, the breaker of chains.

The Queen of the Seven Kingdoms.

They are all chanting her name by the time she finishes her speech. A better world, a world without slaves, a free world - that's her future.

She's Daenerys Stormborn, and she's won.

She chases the ashes out of her hair and enters the ravaged Red Keep.

(Where her future awaits.)

_._

The Throne Room. She's seen it before, she's been here before. She closes her eyes and remembers the House of the Undying, the darkness, the fear, the snow.

(It was never snow.)

The Throne is there, right in front of her. The bells, the fire, the ashes - it all led her here. To her destiny.

Daenerys Targaryen touches what is hers. The blade of the sword is cold against her palm. Some ashes cling to her skin.

(The screams, the terror, the tears - it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.)

"Your Grace?"

She turns over. Jorah stands by the doors of the hall, hesitating. She gestures for him to come closer.

"We’ve won, Jorah," she says.

Her future unfolds before her. She sees the Seven Kingdoms finally united under her reign, the reign of a fair queen. Their savior, the one who delivered them from the mother of madness.

"We've won," she repeats.

She looks into his eyes. They are the color of the sky on a summer day.

(She doesn't think of the grey sky outside, the sky of ashes.)

Jorah looks around. The room is half destroyed. He hesitates, his eyes darken.

"We will rebuild the Red Keep," she says. "We will rebuild the city. We will rebuild this world."

A world as she always imagined it. Daenerys the Breaker of Chains - this is how history will remember her. She grabs Jorah's arm.

"I can't do it alone, Jorah. I need your help. I need you to be by my side, like you've been all these years... together, we'll free this world from all tyrants. Together, we'll break the wheel. Will you serve me, Jorah?"

She doesn't see the doubt in his eyes, she doesn't - she doesn't look. Jorah nods.

"Yes, Your Grace. Of course. Always."

She's smiling. Jorah is blood of her blood. She knows he'll follow her everywhere, to the end of the world if he has to - a world that will soon be free. She kisses his raspy cheek.

"Thank you, Jorah."

She takes one look at the Iron Throne. She doesn't sit on it, not yet. She has time for that. She's the Queen.

She leaves the room with her head high.

Daenerys no longer sees the ashes. Soon, the ashes will be scattered by the wind. Soon, the ashes will be a forgotten memory.

.

_If I look back I am lost._

.

She wanders the halls of the Keep. The home of her ancestors. Her new home.

(Gone are the days she spent wandering, running away. Gone are the days of dashed hopes, broken promises. She's finally home.)

Daenerys is exhausted. Tomorrow she will begin the reconstruction. Tomorrow she will set out to conquer the world. Tomorrow.

(She has time, years, decades, eternity. Her dynasty will last a thousand years.)

Eventually she finds what she’s been looking for: the bedchamber of the mother of madness, the fallen Queen, the destroyed lioness - Cersei Lannister. She feels a special joy at the thought of violating her enemy's lair.

The room has been spared by the fire. Daenerys comes close to the bed and sits slowly on it. Cersei thought she was weak. She thought she wouldn't have the courage to take back what was hers. She thought she could defeat her.

Cersei is dead now, and will soon be forgotten. The lions will no longer roar in Westeros. The time of the dragons has come.

Her eyelids are heavy. Sleep is an enemy she cannot defeat.

Daenerys falls into unconsciousness.

.

She walks through the burned streets of King's Landing. She sees explosions of wildfire here and there.

(Wildfire - Cersei Lannister.)

No one cheers for her. The streets are empty.

"Can anyone hear me?"

Silence, loneliness - it's terrible. It's not what she wants. She doesn't want to reign over ashes. Anguish overwhelms her heart.

Daenerys screams.

When she no longer has the strength to scream, when she collapses to her knees, terrified by the deafening silence, when she feels like she's losing her mind, that's when they come. The ghosts. She no longer tells apart those from the present, those from the past and those that never existed.

Dothraki invade the streets, led by Drogo on his dark horse. Jorah stabs Mirri Maz Duur in the heart while Jon carries Rhaego on his shoulders. Sansa comes out of a house with a red door and plucks a lemon tree before the helpless eyes of Barristan Selmy. Tyrion speaks with an old man who tells him that a Targaryen alone in the world is a terrible thing. Jaime Lannister holds two blond children by the hand. Cersei calls for Rhaegar but he runs to Lyanna Stark.

Daenerys screams but no one answers her.

"Dany."

Viserys kneels down beside him.

"Wake the dragon, Dany. Wake the dragon. Father will be very pleased."

Aerys descends from the sky on Drogon's back. The dragon opens his mouth.

"Burn them all!"

It wasn't the Mad King who spoke. It wasn't Viserys.

It was her.

"Burn them all! Burn them all! Burn them all!"

.

_Burn them all. Burn them all. Burn them all._

The words haunt her long after she wakes.

.

"What have you done, Dany?"

Jon Snow's voice is just a whisper.

(Dany - Viserys. _Wake the dragon._ )

"A whole city, Dany," he continues as she doesn’t reply. "Innocent people, women, children. Children. All burned, every last one of them."

His eyes are wet.

"By the Old Gods and the New, Dany... didn't you hear them scream?"

( _Ring the bells! Ring the bells!_ )

Daenerys looks away. The screams, the shouts, the tears - it's all in the past. It's all in the past.

_If I look back, I am lost._

"I set them free," she says. "They're free now, Jon. They're no longer under the rule of a tyrant. Cersei Lannister is dead. Nothing else matters. I've won. The Targaryens have won. We've won."

They're back in the Throne room.

"It's mine," she whispers. "I will break the wheel. I'm going to make this world a better place. I'm going to..."

She turns around. Only the walls and ashes hear her words.

Jon has left the room.

.

"Search the rubble," she says to Grey Worm. "And find Cersei Lannister’s body."

Grey Worm nods, bows, and passes on her orders to the other Unsullied. Daenerys closes her eyes. Her heart beats fast, too fast.

_She's dead. She's dead._

"She's dead, isn't she, Jorah?"

Silent as a shadow, he stands by her side, as he always has - this is where he belongs.

"It's very unlikely that she survived," he replies.

"I didn't want to destroy the whole Keep," Daenerys says. "This is the home of my ancestors. The home of the Targaryen dynasty. My home. I was right, wasn’t I?"

"Yes, Your Grace."

Jorah seems to be lost in thought. Daenerys feels a lump in her throat. She needs him. If he doubts, if he lets her down, all this will have been for nothing.

( _If he looks back, I am lost._ )

She wraps her thin arms around his waist.

"I need you, Jorah. I need your support, I need your advice. There's so much ahead of us... so much to do..."

"I have sworn to serve you, Your Grace. I will."

"Do I have your word?"

"You have it. Now and until the end of time."

She smiles when he returns her embrace.

.

She thinks of the house with the red door and the lemon tree.

She has a new home now. She won't have to leave, her crown won't be stolen from her the way her childhood was.

.

"Where is Tyrion?" she asks.

She has summoned Jorah, Jon, Arya, Davos and Grey Worm to the Throne room. She stands in the middle of the room and doesn't like the way they look at her.

(This is not important. Soon they will understand. Soon they will admire her. Soon they will love her).

"He's gone," Jon says. "No one has seen him since... since..."

(The bells, the screams, the flames - it's not important.)

"Maybe he ran away, » Jorah says.

Tyrion. Tyrion, whom she chose to be her Hand. Tyrion, whom she trusted. Tyrion, whom she listened to over and over again.

Tyrion, who chose her brother and betrayed her.

"Impossible. He has nowhere to go. He has no one."

( _I'm all he has. He didn't have a family any more, so I gave him one. I'm all he has - he betrayed me, betrayed me, betrayed me._ )

"He can't have gone far. Find him, and bring him to me. Alive."

Arya whispers something in Jon's ear and Daenerys feels betrayed again. _You're not a wolf_ , she wants to cry out to him. _You have never been a wolf. You're a dragon. I'm a dragon. Dragons should be there for each other._

"What about Cersei Lannister's body?"

"Still not found, Your Grace," Grey Worm replies. "We keep searching."

She's dead. Cersei Lannister is dead. Cersei Lannister was a tyrant, a murderer, a madwoman. Cersei Lannister isn't hiding somewhere. Cersei Lannister won't come to get her throne and crown back, no lions will steal her future.

They leave the hall - only Jorah remains. Then Daenerys turns and climbs the steps to the Throne.

She sits down.

_It's mine. Mine. I was born to rule the Seven Kingdoms, and I will._

"Let's not look back, Jorah," she says. "It's useless. Let's look forward."

.

When she rises, one of the swords of the Throne cuts into the back of her hand.

A few drops of blood fall to the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

"How is the search progressing?"

Daenerys hears Drogon roar outside. She smiles slightly. Her child is as eager as she is to conquer the world. So much to do, so many slaves to free.

Jon looks into her eyes.

(So many ashes, he seems to be screaming.)

The ashes are reflected in his dark eyes. She doesn't see them - she doesn't look.

"The Unsullied have still not found anything."

"Keep looking. She can't have disappeared. Her body must be somewhere in the Keep."

He bows and runs out of the room. The Throne Room seems empty to her, as empty as the streets, as empty as her heart. She sighs, stands up and takes care not to hurt herself this time.

She explores the Red Keep randomly, trying to guess what the corridors and devastated rooms looked like in the past.

(What they will look like one day.)

She imagines Rhaegar running through the corridors as a child, chasing the cats that roamed in the shadows, thinking he was a dragon before throwing himself into their mother's arms.

Rhaella Targaryen. A name, a faceless ghost.

A stranger.

Daenerys shakes her head, it's useless to think of such things now. Rhaegar and Rhaella are no more. The Targaryen dynasty has collapsed, murdered by the deer and the lion.

(And where are they now?)

Thanks to her, it will rise again from the ashes. She closes her eyes, images twirl in her mind, she imagines the enchanted castle that haunted her dreams as a child, a blue summer sky, a free people, dragons covering the city with their protective shadow. Daenerys begins to smile.

When she opens them, her smile fades away. She's alone, there is no one around her, no one she could share her joy, her dreams and her hopes with. Jon is nowhere to be seen, it makes her sad, and then she thinks of the ashes in his accusing eyes, the silent reproaches he doesn't dare shout, their love that may have already gone up in smoke.

_What have you done, Dany?_

His voice is haunting her.

_._

(A Targaryen alone in the world is a terrible thing.)

_._

She goes out in the gardens. Drogon has landed there, ashes still cover his scales. Daenerys comes towards him, he seems happy to see her.

"Drogon," she smiles fondly. "I'm glad you're here."

She thinks of her other children, Rhaegal and Viserion, her brave children, she still remembers the day she came out of the fire with them, a miracle, a dream come true, the hope of a better world, a story written in fire and blood.

Two of her dreams were shattered, pierced, two of her dreams collapsed, never to rise again. Tears fill her eyes.

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

She sits against him, pensive.

"We have a lot of work to do. The city will be rebuilt soon, you'll see. I'll have the Dragonpit rebuilt, you'll like it there. You must feel so lonely. When things get better here, we'll leave together to look for more eggs, and we'll find you new companions. Would you like that?"

He lets out a roar, she feels her heart warming up.

(She is the Mother of Dragons. As long as he's around, she'll never be alone.)

"Everything will be all right. I promise."

.

The sky is blue, the sun is shining, a delicious smell lingers in the air. The smell of summer, the smell of hope, the smell of a new dawn.

He follows Daenerys inside the Red Keep with a light heart. He has waited so long for this moment, dreamed so much of it.

The Mother of Dragons is to become the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms.

It would be hard to say which of them is the happier. Daenerys sits on the Iron Throne and it is he who has the honor of placing the crown on her head.

"Daenerys Targaryen!" he shouts."Queen of the Andals and the First Men!"

When he turns around, his smile dies on his lips. The room is empty.

"Where is everybody?" he whispers.

"Jorah."

He steps back. Daenerys's purple eyes are glowing with murderous rage.

"Burn them all!"

"Your Grace-"

"Burn them all! Burn them all! Burn them all!"

"Please, Your Grace, don't do this. Please don't do this."

"Burn them all!"

The Red Keep is covered in ashes.

He closes his eyes and places his hands against his ears so that he can no longer see or hear.

(No longer see his dream shattering, no longer hear his heart being torn apart).

When he opens them, he’s short of breath and he's lying on a bed he doesn't know. He rises up, trembling. The room he has chosen to spend the night in has been spared by the fire but the flames are still burning in his memory.

_._

It must be a nightmare.

The Red Keep is still intact. Daenerys ended Cersei Lannister's reign without spilling a single drop of blood. The bells didn't even need to ring, the entire people cheered when she appeared on Drogon's back.

It must be a nightmare - there are no ashes and no smoke, no corpses and no screams, no fire and no blood.

It must be a nightmare, so why can't he wake up?

.

Jorah keeps looking down as he walks through the halls of the Keep. No one likes looking into the eyes of death.

(Especially not the death of a great dream.)

He goes out into the gardens. Everything has burned down, there are no trees, no flowers, no trace of life. The birds have stopped singing, the wind no longer makes any leaves quiver, the bright colours have given way to the grey of the ashes.

She's leaning against Drogon when he sees her, a small white spot in the middle of this grey hell. She's looking at the sky, daydreaming, and then she turns towards him.

He feels a lump growing in his throat.

He sees the ashes in the streets and the devastating flames and the glint of madness in her purple eyes and he loves her, he loves her so much that it hurts but he just can't-

"Jorah," she says, bells ringing in her silvery hair. Her smile is gentle (oh, he loves her).

"There's somewhere I'd like to go. Somewhere very far away."

She gets up and walks over to him. She's still smiling, so he smiles back at her.

(He could never keep himself from smiling back. He would give anything to make her smile, even if she smiles at someone else, even if she breaks his heart a million times.)

"Really?" he asks.

She nods, for a brief moment he thinks she looks like a little girl, her eyes sparkle with joy, he forgets the ashes all around him.

"It's in Braavos," she reveals."There is a house with a red door."

(Red - fire, blood, the Targaryen dragon.)

"This is my childhood home. I wish I could go back and see it again. It's the only home I've ever had... until now, of course."

Jorah doesn't want to think about now, he wants her to keep telling him about her past, about their past, he wants to keep seeing that sixteen year old girl with silver hair who made his heart beat way too fast.

"Promise me that you will take me there, Jorah," Daenerys says."Once there is peace in the Seven Kingdoms, promise me that we will go together."

"Yes, Your Grace. Of course, Your Grace. I will take you there."`

She closes her eyes, maybe she already sees herself pushing the red door and finding the childhood that was stolen from her.

"Thank you, Jorah."

.

( _I would do anything for you, my queen, absolutely anything, anything so that your smile never disappears._ )

.

Jon Snow is a shadow haunting the halls of the Keep.

That's what Jorah thinks when he sees him wandering, looking confused, a lost wolf, or maybe a dragon with torn wings, he doesn't know what he really is, even Jon doesn't seem to know.

He sees him heading towards the tunnels beneath the Keep.

"The Unsullied have not searched this area yet,"he explains."I'll go and take a look."

Exiling himself into the depths so that he can no longer see the ashes flying through the air - that is probably his intention.

"I'll come with you," Jorah says.

They both walk down the stairs until they come face to face with the dragon skulls left there like unwanted memories.

(Maybe coming here wasn't such a good idea after all.)

Bricks collapsed here and there. Jon starts digging, maybe he's tempted to bury himself there and never return to the surface. Jorah puts his hand on one of the skulls, even in death these animals are still as terrifying as ever. He sees Drogon flying over the city again.

( _Burn them all! Burn them all!_ )

His nightmare continues to haunt him - his nightmare or reality, he doesn't know anymore.

"Jorah? Come here, you need to see this."

Jon has frozen in front of one of the entrances to the tunnels that have been blocked by rubble, and Jorah freezes as well when he sees Jaime Lannister’s body and his dead green eyes.

(Dust. So much dust.)

"Cersei's body must be around."

Jon gives him an odd look.

"I didn't pull him out from under the bricks. Someone had already moved them."

With a nod, he shows him a small exit that Jorah hadn't noticed before, barely wide enough to let a person through.

"Tyrion is gone," Jon says.

"No," Jorah snaps."No, that's impossible."

(Two lions aren't out there, two lions won't haunt the dragon for years and years, two dragons won't threaten to steal her new home .)

"What other explanation do you have?" Jon asks.

He shakes his head, depressed, this nightmare has only just begun.

"We can't tell Daenerys," Jorah says. "It'll break her. We must protect her."

"What are you talking about?" Jon replies. "She's our queen. We must tell her the truth."

And he turns around and moves away quickly, even when he is lost a wolf always keeps his honor with him as armour. He looks at Jaime Lannister, if he hadn't persisted in wanting to save his sister Daenerys would have some peace of mind now.

"Why did you love her that much?" he sighs.

.

"You say someone had already found Jaime Lannister's body," Daenerys says slowly.

"Yes," Jon replies.

"Cersei Lannister's body is nowhere to be found."

"It would appear so."

"No one has seen Tyrion since the battle."

"Well..."

"It's obvious."

(There it is again. The glint of madness. Jorah closes his eyes and thinks of her smile, her sweet smile on her equally sweet lips, the lips he would so much like to kiss.)

"He helped her escape. They both escaped."

"Dany-"

"He chose her. He chose her over me."

She's angry, of course, but there's something else - betrayal.

Abandonment.

Arya Stark frowns, Jorah knows she's only waiting for one thing. She wants to run away and go back to hiding in the North, wolves aren't meant to live so far south.

"Tyrion hates Cersei. He'd never help her."

Daenerys doesn't listen to her, actually she doesn't listen to anyone, no one except Jorah, at least he hopes so.

She turns to Grey Worm.

"They can’t have gotten far. Find them."

"Yes, Your Grace. And what shall we do with them?"

Anger leaves her face for a moment, bewilderment replaces it, he sees she's thinking of Tyrion.

.

_I believe in you. You have my counsel... now and always._

_I have something for you... Tyrion Lannister, I name you Hand of the Queen._

.

( _If I look back, I am lost._ )

.

"Kill them. Kill them both."

Daenerys turns away.

Just some more ashes - it won't make much difference now.


	3. Chapter 3

Daenerys looks at the Iron Throne. The day of her coronation approaches. Oh, how she has dreamed of this moment, of this crown, of all those Lords coming to acknowledge her as their rightful queen, the one they have waited all these years with bowed heads before the tyrants who held them in their claws.

The Throne Room is cold, so cold. Ashes are still flying through the air. When will they be gone?

She can feel Jorah's shadow behind her. A protective, reassuring shadow.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks.

She turns to him. He’s staring at the ground, Daenerys tries unsuccessfully to catch his eye. A polar cold spreads through her veins. If even he doesn't want to look at the ashes, who else will?

"Jorah," she says. "How long do you think it will take to rebuild the Red Keep? And the capital?"

(Why does looking at Jorah make her feel guilty?)

"Oh... it's hard to say. Months. Years."

"Years," she repeats slowly.

(She can't wait years, she can't, she's waited far too long already.)

"I see."

She takes one last regretful look at the Iron Throne. This is where her father was murdered, she recalls. It's such a shame, this place is a symbol, this is where the Targaryens eventually fell, she wanted it to be where they were reborn.

"I can't wait until the Keep is rebuilt."

"Your Grace?" he asks, looking confused.

She picks up a handful of ashes. The Lords of Westeros don't need to see that. It would make her look weak.

"The capital will be moved to Dragonstone until the Red Keep is rebuilt," she says.

It's the home of her ancestors, after all. And this is where she planned the conquest of Westeros.

( _With Tyrion_ , a little voice whispers in her mind.)

Tears of rage come to her eyes. She can't think of Tyrion. Tyrion betrayed her again and again, Tyrion almost ruined her victory, Tyrion abandoned her.

Tyrion chose his sister over her, the one who failed him.

Jorah notices her watery eyes, comes over to her, frowning.

"Your Grace? Are you all right?"

Daenerys raises her head. She'll be Queen soon, finally, after all this time. She can't look back like that. She gives Jorah a reassuring smile.

"I'm all right."

_._

_(Look forward, Daenerys. Always forward.)_

.

"Moving the capital to Dragonstone? "

She went to find Jon to tell him the news. She thought it would please him not to have to look at all those ashes every day, besides Dragonstone is where they met, where their love was born.

But Jon is as distant as ever. She steps back imperceptibly from his accusing eyes, this time it's her who wants to look down.

"Yes," she answers confidently, she hides the cracks in her voice, no one should ever hear them or even just guess they exist.

They are in the middle of the gardens. Drogon looks at them a little farther away, he lets out a little roar every now and then to support her.

(He, at least, will always be there for her.)

"I think it would be better. I would look stronger there than in a destroyed city."

( _A city I've destroyed._ )

Jon shrugs, he doesn't really seem to care, or maybe he's just afraid to tell her what he thinks.

"All right," he says. "You're my queen, I'll go where you tell me to go."

This answer disappoints her, she wants to cry, to beg, to shout at him that nothing has changed, that she's still the same, the one he fell in love with, she wants to promise him that her reign will be the most prosperous Westeros has ever known, but she knows it's too late, Jon bows and walks away.

Daenerys bites her lip. Why is everyone abandoning her? Hasn't she sacrificed everything for them? Without her help, how would they have prevailed over the army of the dead?

Without her, they'd all be dead. Why do they refuse to see that?

.

The city is celebrating the birth of the Targaryen heir, Daenerys is looking radiant, she sits on the Iron Throne with her son in her arms. She strokes his silver hair and gets lost in his purple eyes.

"My son," she whispers. "I've waited so long for you."

The Throne Room is intact, more majestic than ever, the dragon skulls are back, never again will they be cast into oblivion.

Suddenly the enthusiastic murmurs fade, the sun disappears, the room is plunged into darkness. She can't see a thing.

And then she feels him in front of her, guesses his presence.

"Drogon?"

He growls. Daenerys shivers.

"Drogon, what are you doing?"

He doesn't answer, of course, but he opens his mouth. The heat coming from it makes the air crackle. She's seen this too many times not to know what's about to happen.

"Drogon, I beg you. Not my son. I-"

The fire consumes her before she has time to finish her sentence.

Daenerys wakes up trembling, tries to calm down. The smell of burning still lingers in the air.

(It was a nightmare, nothing but a nightmare.)

She almost screams when she notices that someone is sitting on her bed.

"So, Dany," smiles Viserys. "Did you wake the dragon?"

.

( _Wake the dragon, Dany._ )

( _No. The dragon is asleep. Let it sleep._ )

.

Days go by. Wherever she goes, Viserys's mocking smile follows her. She closes her eyes so that she doesn't have to meet his mad gaze again.

(Her gaze is different. She's not mad, she's not like him, she will be a fair queen, her people will love her.)

"Your Grace?"

She blinks, takes a few seconds to realize it's not Viserys talking to her. Viserys is dead, Viserys no longer exists, Viserys is a thing of the past. And Daenerys won't look back.

"Yes, Jorah?"

"Do you know when we leave for Dragonstone?"

"Well..."

She hesitates, she still doesn't like the idea of leaving the Iron Throne behind her, this childish fear that someone will come and steal her home still haunts her.

"In a few days," she replies at last.

"A raven has been sent to all the Lords in Westeros," he tells her.

"A raven?"

"Yes, Your Grace. An invitation to your coronation."

"Oh. Of course."

She feels a little silly, or perhaps naive, in her mind the Lords did not need an invitation to come, they rushed to King's Landing immediately after hearing about the downfall of Cersei Lannister and the rise of the dragons.

"Let me know as soon as you get a reply."

"I will."

He bows and begins to move away, Daenerys shivers, when she's alone Viserys's eyes come back to burn her.

(She's almost always alone.)

"Jorah," she calls. "Would you like to spend a moment with me?"

She gives him a shy, hesitant smile. Will he look down, like everyone else does? Will he make up an excuse not to tell her that he can't stand to look at her anymore? Will he betray her and abandon her too, like Tyrion?

Jorah doesn't look away and smiles back at her.

"Of course. I'd be honored."

.

(Jorah is not like the others, Jorah will not forsake her, he will not leave her to wolves and lions, what binds them together will not turn into cold ashes.)

.

Daenerys has not changed.

This is what Jorah repeats to himself as they both walk through the ashes of the Red Keep. He looks at her beautiful face, her sweet smile, the little bells ringing in her silver hair, nothing has changed, she's still the same woman he fell in love with years ago, the young woman who looked up at him with her terrified eyes on her wedding day.

(Her eyes... he tries to forget the glint of madness when he looks into them, tries to convince himself that it doesn't exist. It's a lie, a mistake, everything will be all right.)

"Jorah," Daenerys says in a light tone. "Do you think the people will love me?"

"Of course, Your Grace."

Words come easily to him, he no longer knows the difference between truth and lies.

"Cersei Lannister was a cruel woman," she says. "She didn't care about them, she only loved power. I'm different."

"Yes, Your Grace."

She frowns, looking hurt.

"Cersei was a tyrant, and yet Tyrion chose her. He helped her escape instead of staying close to me."

"Your Grace..."

She cuts him off.

"It doesn't matter. Tyrion is in the past now. We don't need to worry about the past, it's useless, we'll never be able to change it. We need to worry about the future."

He nods without answering. The ashes are behind him, Daenerys is in front of him. He's already made his choice, he made it years ago.

(Years ago, there was nothing behind him. Why would he have looked back? But now... now...)

Jon Snow appears and heads towards them, the glimmer of hope appears in Daenerys's purple eyes, Jorah feels sad, the White Wolf's body is still with them but he knows perfectly well that his spirit is already far, very far away. Daenerys doesn't know this, or maybe she doesn't want to.

(And he won't be the one to tell her, it would hurt too much.)

"Your Grace," he said hastily. "The people will love you. They will love you as I love you."

He blushes, in his dreams that's when Daenerys walks over to him and kisses him, of course he knows that won't happen because what he’s been witnessing must be a nightmare.

"You're so kind, Jorah," she smiles affectionately.

His heart turns upside down as her lips touch his cheek.

.

"Yara Greyjoy, Gendry Baratheon, Robin Arryn, Edmure Tully and the new Prince of Dorne are on their way," Jorah says.

Daenerys nods. Five Kingdoms. Five Kingdoms on their way to bend the knee. The Westerlands don't count, one of his heirs is dead and the other two will soon be, if they haven't died already. As for the Lannisters who are still alive, they won't be foolish enough to try to take back Casterly Rock.

There's one last Kingdom.

"What about Sansa Stark?"

Jorah looks down, Davos remains silent, Jon and Arya share a grim look. Daenerys immediately understands, out of the corner of her eye she sees Viserys standing beside her.

( _Wake the dragon, Dany._ )

"Sansa is not coming, is she?" she lets out, her voice is cold, dry, full of anger.

Sansa, always Sansa, Sansa who hated her dragons, Sansa who hated her at first sight, Sansa who refuses her authority.

"It's an insult," Daenerys continues. "I-"

"Listen, Dany," Jon cuts her off. "Sansa is very busy with the rebuilding of Winterfell. She can't afford to be gone for so long. I assure you, she's not trying to defy you."

She raises her eyebrows, she wants to believe him, she really does, but how could she when he doesn't even look her in the eye?

Arya steps forward, Daenerys doesn't know what to think of her, something tells her that she must be wary of her, she's a wolf too, all the wolves have opposed the dragon.

"I'll bend the knee for my sister."

She doesn't like any of this, she feels like she's not in control, something she doesn’t want is being imposed on her, she may look weak.

( _Wake the dragon, Dany,_ whispers Viserys in her ear. _Wake the dragon._ )

She wants to be a good and fair queen, they are the ones who leave her no choice, if they stopped opposing her she could let the dragon sleep forever. Jorah is staring at her with his imploring eyes, she wants to prove that he's right to trust her, that he's not mistaken, that she deserves his loyalty and love.

"Fine," she says to Arya. "I agree to give Sansa the benefit of the doubt... for now. You'll bend the knee for her."

Jon sighs, relieved.

"Thank you, Dany."

( _Wake the dragon. They don't like you, they don't believe you, they will try to overthrow you at the first opportunity. Wake the dragon. Show them who the queen is._ )

"However," she continues. "I want Sansa to understand what happens to those who oppose me."

She waves at Grey Worm to come closer.

"Send Jaime Lannister's head to Winterfell."

"It will be done, Your Grace."

This time, she's the one who won't look Jon in the eye.

"Dany!" he whispers, horrified. "At Winterfell, there's-"

"Brienne of Tarth?" she finishes in a bored tone. "Jaime Lannister abandoned her for Cersei. She should be glad to know he's dead."

Daenerys too was abandoned by a Lannister, Tyrion too chose Cersei, this woman is really poison, it's such a pity for them, they could have saved the honor of the lions, they preferred to let the mother of madness drag them down.

(She'd be glad to see Tyrion's head, that's why she sent the Unsullied after him. His death would bring her great joy... wouldn't it?)

"Dany... please..."

"We leave for Dragonstone tomorrow," she says before rising from the Iron Throne.

(This is only goodbye. Her throne is not going anywhere, no one will come to steal it from her while she is gone. Her dream will not turn into a nightmare.)

.

The others have left the room. Viserys slowly comes to stand next to her. They both stare at the Iron Throne in silence.

"It finally belongs to the dragons," Viserys says. "Just as we've always dreamed."

"My dream is nothing like yours," she replies. "You were only interested in power. Just like Cersei Lannister. I'm interested in the people."

He raises his eyebrows, his smile is a mocking one.

"The people of King's Landing are thrilled that you took an interest in them..."

"Don't talk about what you don't know!" she snaps.

She turns away so that she can no longer see his arrogant face.

"Cersei refused peace, she's the one who forced me to burn it all! Sansa refused to help me, she wanted to overthrow me, she's the one who forced me to execute Varys! No one supported me, even Tyrion abandoned me after I gave him everything! I'm not the Queen of the ashes they made of me, I'm not..."

She stops when she realizes that Viserys is gone. A woman has replaced him, a woman with silver hair and purple eyes. The ashes that cover her evoke the madness reflected in her eyes.

"Who are you?" Daenerys asks, frightened.

The woman comes closer.

"Don't you recognize me?"

"No. I don't know you."

"It's odd."

Daenerys thinks she must have been very beautiful once. Weariness, anger and madness have robbed her of all her beauty.

"I am you, though. You are me."

"No. You're lying."

The other Daenerys bursts out laughing.

"I'm the one you'll be in a few years, I'm who you are already without realizing it..."

She leans towards her.

"I am Queen of the ashes," she whispers in her ear.


	4. Chapter 4

"We'll return, won't we?" Daenerys asks.

Leaving the courtyard of the Red Keep is difficult, much more difficult than she thought. Above the highest tower she can see Drogon's silhouette in the sky. Is her child as sad as she is at the thought of leaving?

"Of course, Your Grace," Jorah answers.

"All these years dreaming of this place... I can't believe I'm leaving it behind."

(Dreams of blue skies, sunshine, summer. No ashes, never.)

"We will return," Jorah repeats.

He takes her hand and kisses it. She feels lighter, stops thinking of the ashes, the bells, the corpses, the flames. In a few months all this will be a bad memory. The people will come back and she will parade through the streets with cheers. They'll realize she is the Queen they've been waiting for all these years.

"Let's go," she says, determined.

She won't look back. She will never look back.

_._

Dragonstone has not changed. That's a comforting thought. Time seems to have stopped on this island which is almost lost, Jorah remembers the day he returned to his Queen after those long months away from her, he remembers her smile and her arms around his waist, the glint of hope in her purple eyes - the glint hasn't changed, it's still there, the glint of madness hasn't replaced it.

"I feel like I'm going home," Daenerys says."It's like I'm back at the house with the red door, back at my childhood home. It's silly, though. King's Landing is supposed to be my new home, the one I've always dreamed of."

Her stray look is squeezing his heart.

"I don't feel like King's Landing is my home," she finally says."Nothing... nothing has happened as I'd hoped."

(There were no ashes in her dreams either. This fantasized house does not exist, it does not exist anymore - for now.)

"King's Landing will be your home one day," he promises."Just like that house with the red door. The rebuilding will begin in a few days. We will send for the best workers from the Seven Kingdoms to help the Unsullied."

Daenerys frowns, pensive, then her face splits into a dreamy smile.

"That sounds good... thank you, Jorah. I don't know what I'd do without you."

He doesn't know what he'd do without her either. Daenerys is his sun. Without her, the cold would have gotten the better of him long ago.

.

Daenerys returns to the throne of Dragonstone thinking of another throne, the one of her dreams, the one she had to leave behind.

Jon followed her.

"And now what?" he asks.

She takes her time to answer. In a few days, her final goal will be achieved. She'll officially be the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. The lords will come and bend the knee. Sansa may try to resist, but she too will eventually bow and submit to her authority. Tyrion and Cersei will soon be found and executed for high treason against the crown. With her enemies defeated, nothing will stand in her way. She'll set out to conquer the world.

"Now I will rule," Daenerys finally says.

She stares at Jon. Aegon Targaryen. The last member of her family. A dragon, just like her. One day, he'll understand that ruling was her destiny all along and he'll stop resenting her.

He bows his head, as if defeated, and walks away.

(She doesn't need to try to hold him back. He'll come back willingly.)

.

"He doesn't love you anymore," Viserys tells her in his sullen voice. "He's afraid of you. They're all afraid of you. He's not a real dragon, he's not like you."

"You're lying," she replies."We're going to restore the Targaryen dynasty."

Her brother looks at her with pity.

"My sweet sister," he laughs."You're still very naive."

.

"Your Grace?"

Jorah gently pushes the door of Daenerys’s bedchamber. She looks at herself in the mirror, frowning.

"Your Grace, the first lords are expected to arrive in the evening."

She doesn't answer, he's not even sure whether she's noticed his presence. Worried, he comes closer slowly.

"Your Grace? Is everything all right?"

She blinks, her eyes are eerily empty, and then she pulls herself together and puts on her mask of impassivity. The mask of a Queen.

(The Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, not the Queen of the Ashes - never that.)

"Will they go through the capital?"

"That's unlikely. Manfrey Martell and Gendry Baratheon have sailed from Dorne and the Stormlands, Edmure Tully has joined Robin Arryn in the Vale, they too will pass through the sea."

"What about Yara Greyjoy?"

Her eyes are burning, he can see anxiety in them, and it makes him feel so much better.

(She's not a bloodthirsty monster, she's not mad, she's his Queen and he loves her, he still loves her.)

"I don't know what way she has followed," he admits. "About that..."

He hesitates, the words choke in his throat.

 _I'm not afraid of her_ , he repeats to himself. _I'm not afraid of her. I can tell her everything, we are alone. I'm not afraid of her._

He's not afraid of her, so why won't the words come out of his mouth?

"Yes?" she encourages him.

She turns to him and smiles. Always the same gentle smile.

"I was wondering... is it wise to have given her the Reach? Besides, I'm not sure she's really interested."

"I understand your concerns," she replies. "But the Reach needs a lord. Who else could I give it to? I don't know this Prince of Dorne. The Reach is situated right next to the Stormlands. I don't think it's wise to make Gendry the lord of two kingdoms that are so close together. As for Robin Arryn and Edmure Tully, they're Sansa's blood."

He nods. It was Jon who let him know about Daenerys's plans, but he feels a little hurt that she didn't tell him.

"Yara won't have to stay at Highgarden if she doesn't want to. I just want someone I trust to be the official lord."

(What if Yara goes through King's Landing before coming? Will Daenerys still be able to trust her?)

"And the Westerlands?"

Her face hardens.

"They are mine. I won't give them to anyone. Casterly Rock belongs to the dragon, now and forever."

Jorah thinks of Tyrion and Cersei. Have they thought about seeking refuge there? Where are they now? If they're alive, do they know the dragon is after them? How long can they hide?

Every time Tyrion is mentioned, the flame of betrayal burns in Daenerys's eyes. Jorah blames the former Hand of the Queen. She trusted him so much, she believed in his counsel, believed in him. He envied him, sometimes, often, he knew that the dragon had stolen the lion's heart along with the bear's. In the end, it was all for nothing. Tyrion is gone, he's not coming back, he'll probably never see him again, not alive anyway. It all leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

(Daenerys isn't the only one who feels betrayed.)

.

( _Show them who the Queen is, Dany. Wake the dragon._ )

( _Leave me alone._ )

.

Gendry and the Prince of Dorne arrived late at night, Robin and Edmure have just joined them. Daenerys enters the throne room with her head high, a slight friendly smile on her lips. They immediately bow their heads, she hopes they do so out of respect and not out of fear.

"Welcome," she greets them."Thank you for coming."

She eyes Robin Arryn and Edmure Tully. Sansa's cousin and uncle. They don't frighten her, but she'll keep an eye on them. Just in case.

"Did you have a good journey?"

"Yes, Your Grace," the Prince of Dorne replies."The sea was calm."

"Manfrey Martell, isn't it?"

"That's right. I'm a cousin of Doran."

(Doran Martell. Overthrown in a coup. She hopes Manfrey will not suffer the same fate. She hopes _she_ will not suffer the same fate.)

She won't talk about what happened in King's Landing, she won't talk about the bells that broke the silence, she won't talk about the destruction of the Red Keep, the only people who witnessed it are loyal to her, in a few months the capital will be rebuilt and it will be as if the ashes never existed.

Arya and Jon enter the room. Gendry immediately turns away and rushes towards them. Arya glances at Daenerys before dragging him away. She grits her teeth, ice surrounds her heart.

"See?" Viserys whispers. "He's already walking away from you. He's the son of the Usurper. He'll betray you at the first opportunity."

Daenerys ignores him.

Yet, as she stands in the middle of the room and watches these lords talking in a low voice, she can't help but think that they are already talking about overthrowing the dragon.

.

Daenerys is walking among the rocks, looking up. Drogon is flying in the sky, a dark spot on this gray infinity.

The lords have been here for two days. They bowed their heads several times but when they looked up at her, she saw the reflection of flames and ashes.

(Arya Stark has done her job well. How could she be so naive to think they wouldn't look back? They're not like her, they're not ready to forget the past.)

Daenerys closes her eyes, lets the wind whip her face and make the bells tinkle in her hair. It doesn't matter. As soon as Yara gets here, she will be crowned, they will bend the knee and finally look forward. They have no choice - neither does she.

"Your Grace?"

She turns around. Yara Greyjoy looks at her with some trepidation. Her eyes light up, she gives her a little reassuring smile.

"Good morning, Yara. It's good to see you."

Daenerys approaches her. Yara doesn't look down and doesn't back down. A true Ironborn.

"Did you have a good journey?"

"Yes, Your Grace, thank you."

"Let's take a walk, shall we?"

They take a few steps, remaining quiet. Yara glances at Drogon's silhouette.

"He looks a little taller every time I see him."

"I still remember the day he was born," she smiles nostalgically. "He was so small... I never thought he'd grow so big."

She thinks about her other children, she misses Viserion and Rhaegal so much, without Drogon she would be almost alone in the world.

Finally, Yara stops and looks into her eyes.

"I passed through King's Landing on my way here."

Her voice is emotionless, Daenerys obliges herself not to feel any emotion at all.

(The bells, the shouts, the pleas - it's all in the past. It's all in the past.)

"I see," she replies simply.

She waits for Yara to look away. She doesn't.

"Was that really necessary?" she asks simply, her voice full of incomprehension.

Daenerys frowns, thinks of the accusing eyes of Jon, Arya, Gendry and all the others, the occasionally avoiding eyes of Jorah. It's a question she's never asked herself. Could she have conquered the Iron Throne any other way? But should she even bother to think about it?

_If I look back, I am lost._

"I paid the iron price, Yara," she finally says."I conquered the crown with war and blood. I defeated Cersei Lannister, I defeated a tyrant."

She turns her back to her, watching the waves crash against the cliffs.

"What's done is done. In a few hours, I'll be Queen. I will remove all tyrants from their thrones, I will free all enslaved people."

Yara slowly comes to stand next to her.

"Do I have your support? I can't do this alone. I need allies I can trust."

Drogon roars. Yara nods slightly, pensive.

"You have it."

(Daenerys can trust Yara, the Ironborn won't betray her, she won't stab her in the back.)

"Did you get my message about the Reach?" she asks.

"Yes, Your Grace."

"Do you accept?"

She hesitates.

"The Ironborn are not meant to live so far from the Iron Islands, Your Grace."

"And they won't have to. You won't have to stay at Highgarden, I'll send the Unsullied there. I just need your name to be attached to it, you understand? The Tyrells' sworn houses will be loyal to you."

"Wouldn't it be wiser to give Highgarden to one of those houses? The Tyrells were your allies, after all."

"No," Daenerys says. "The Tarlys were supposed to be loyal to the Tyrells. That didn't stop them from siding with Cersei. I can trust no one but you, Yara."

She ends up bowing her head, defeated.

"All right, Your Grace."

Daenerys closes the distance between them and gently grabs her arm. Yara is startled, she blushes.

"Thank you, Yara."

.

"Come back to Winterfell with me, Jon!"

Jorah presses his ear against the door of Jon's bedchamber, intrigued.

"How can you even consider staying here?" Arya exclaims."You saw what she did - all those ashes..."

He can easily guess that Jon has just shaken his head.

"She's my Queen. I have pledged myself to her. I must serve her. I belong here."

"Sansa and I are your sisters. You belong with us."

He sighs.

"My cousins. You are my cousins. My name is Aegon Targaryen now."

"This is ridiculous! Even you don't believe it. You're not like her, Jon. You're a wolf."

Jorah moves away. He doesn't need to hear the rest of the conversation, he already knows that Jon is not going anywhere.

(He’s not a wolf, and he’s not a dragon either. How he'd hate to be in his place.)

.

"Are you nervous?" Jorah asks.

Daenerys paces around the room, her fists are clenched, she bends her head even though no crown is placed on it. She wants to deny it, fear is not for dragons, the noblest creatures, fear belongs to the past, fear is what the little girl she was felt when the red door of her childhood home closed, what the young woman who was married to a brutal stranger felt, fear is like winter, ice and the White Walkers, fear will have no place in her reign, her reign of hope, fire and freedom.

She wants to deny and yet she nods, she is not a Queen yet, perhaps she can still be afraid, just one last time.

"Would you accept a piece of advice?"

She nods, intrigued.

"When you banished me from Meereen..."

Daenerys bites her lip, this memory is not pleasant for any of them.

"When you banished me from Meereen, I was terrified. I lost everything in a matter of seconds. I didn't know what I was going to do, how I was going to live away from you."

"Jorah-"

"Listen to me, please. I was terrified, and I counted to five. That's how long I allowed fear to take over. I counted to five, and I drove it away. I decided I was going to do everything I could to get your trust back."

She smiles, kissing him on the cheek.

"You'll be my Hand, won't you, Jorah?"

He looks genuinely surprised.

"Me? But I thought... Jon..."

"You're the only one I trust completely."

"Well... I accept, of course. I will be your Hand."

Reassured, she turns to the door.

"I'm ready."

She enters the hall and walks to her throne. The lords bend the knee as she passes.

.

One.

_Ring the bells! Ring the bells!_

.

Two.

_A Targaryen alone in the world is a terrible thing._

.

Three.

_What have you done, Dany?_

.

Four.

_I was born to rule the Seven Kingdoms, and I will._

.

Five.

_Mhysa! Mhysa! Mhysa!_

.

"Daenerys Targaryen! Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms!"


	5. Chapter 5

Daenerys is wandering randomly around Dragonstone, the wind is ringing the little bells in his silver hair - the sweet sound of victory. She looks up, watching the pearl-colored clouds play hide-and-seek with the timid winter sun. For some days now it has begun to reappear in the sky. It's an omen, or at least she likes to think so. Exactly like the comet that flew through the sky after the birth of its dragons.

"I wish you were here to see this, my children," she whispers as she sits on the grass.

Her crown is light on her head. She takes it off and contemplates it, delighted. She has been officially Queen of the Seven Kingdoms for two months now. She was afraid, but the fear is gone. Being afraid is looking back.

"Your Grace?"

Jorah comes and sits beside her, glancing at the crown.

"Is everything all right?" he asks.

She nods gently.

"Everything is all right."

She touches the grass, wishes there were proper gardens on the island, thinks nostalgically of those in the Red Keep, wonders what they really looked like. Viserys used to tell her about them when she was a child, when he told her how glorious their future would be when they took back the Iron Throne.

(There is nothing left, flowers, leaves, colorful fruit, it’s all gone, the bells rang and it was over, everything was fire and ashes.)

Thinking of Viserys brings her back to the house with the red door of her childhood. How it hurt when the door closed behind her for the last time.

"Jorah," she says. "Did I ever tell you about the lemon tree?"

"The lemon tree?" he repeats, frowning.

"Yes. The lemon tree of my childhood."

"Oh. I don't think so."

She smiles, happy to have found a pleasant topic of conversation. Viserys appears and stares at her mockingly.

"You are looking back, my dear sister."

She ignores him.

"When I still lived in the house with the red door, there was a lemon tree outside the window of my room. All I had to do was open it to pick a lemon. I remember the joy I felt when I held one in the palm of my hand. I remember the scent of them floating in the air, I remember the taste of lemon cakes... how long has it been since I've eaten one? Years. An eternity."

Tears come to her eyes, this time lost forever tastes like honey and ashes.

( _You are looking back_ , Viserys says in her mind.)

"I was happy then. So happy. I think... I think the day we had to run away is one of the worst days of my life."

A few tears roll down her cheeks. Jorah wipes them gently with a wavering hand. She lets him, overwhelmed.

"I promised you I'd take you to Braavos," he replies."I promised you we'd find that house with the red door. You will see that lemon tree again, I give you my word."

She smiles at him, touched. Jorah gets up and reaches out his hand.

"There are no lemon trees here," Jorah says. "But there are plenty of them in Dorne. I could send a raven to Manfrey Martell and have him send us lemons."

Daenerys's eyes light up, the taste of the lemon cakes drives the bitterness out of her mouth.

"Really?"

"Of course, if it makes you happy."

"Nothing could make me happier."

She stares at the Hand of the Queen’s pin that Jorah is wearing.

She’s made the right choice.

.

"You are looking back," Viserys repeats.

"No," Daenerys replies. "Jorah said we'd go to Braavos together, he said we'd find the house with the red door and the lemon tree. The lemons are ahead. I'm looking forward."

.

Jorah is wandering through the corridors of the castle, pensive, passes a few Unsullied and nods at them, but looks away at once. When he looks at them for too long, he remembers everything - the bells, the dragon, all that violence and bloodshed.

There are only a few of them left on the island, Daenerys sent most of them across the Seven Kingdoms about a month ago.

"Is this really necessary?" he dared to ask - Jon just didn't have the courage to do it, or the will, or maybe both.

For a second, just for a second, he thought he saw the glint of madness in her eyes - but it was only an illusion.

(It was only an illusion... right?)

"I want them to pacify the realm and make it clear to everyone that it is useless to even think of overthrowing me. I am the Queen, and I will always be."

He bowed his head and just nodded.

"All right, Your Grace."

Lost in his thoughts, he bumps into Jon, who is walking in the opposite direction. As usual, he doesn’t show any emotion.

"Is everything all right?" Jorah asks, even though his dark eyes scream the answer, his wolf eyes, his Stark eyes.

Jon looks at him up and down. He's squeezing a crumpled letter in his fist.

"Come with me."

Jorah agrees to follow him outside, where the wind carries their words away as it will carry away all the ashes of King's Landing. It will take them away where no one will ever find them, they will disappear, become only distant memories, just like the house with the red door and the lemon tree, except this time no one will regret them.

Jon hands him the letter.

"What is it?" Jorah asks him as he grabs it.

"It's a message from Gendry," Jon answers, looking sullen. "There's been some unrest in the Stormlands. Not all the Baratheons' sworn houses were pleased with the arrival of the Unsullied."

Jorah doesn't dare look down at the letter. What is he going to read? What other obstacle stands in Daenerys's way?

"Ser Aemon Estermont and his son Alyn stood up to them a few days ago."

He frowns, thinks of the Tarlys when they opposed Daenerys and refused to bend the knee. Jon doesn't need to go on. Jorah has understood.

"The Unsullied slaughtered them," Jon says, his voice trembling. "They didn't give them a chance."

Seeing that Jorah refuses to read the letter, Jon gently takes it back from him.

"Gendry tried to negotiate. It didn't do any good."

"I... Daenerys didn't tell me any of this," Jorah says after a few seconds.

Jon shakes his head, sighing.

"Why would she do it?"

( _Because I am her Hand_ , he wants to answer, he wants to scream. _Because she trusts me, because she knows that I will never let her down._ )

"She didn't say anything to me either," Jon continues. "And even if she had, my opinion wouldn't have mattered."

"You don't mean that."

Jon starts pacing, unable to stay still, he closes his eyes, maybe he imagines he's on his way to Winterfell, on the wolf trail. He bites his lip, there seems to be a fight inside of him.

"We never talk about what happened in King's Landing," he finally lets out, his fear has prevailed over his reason, these words have been gnawing at him for weeks. "Every time I bring up the subject, she refuses to answer me and moves on. All she talks about is the future, never the past. I... I dream of it every night. I feel the ashes settling in my hair, sticking to my skin... I smell the burning... I hear the bells..."

Will he betray Daenerys if he tells Jon that his dreams are in every way similar to his own?

"She doesn't look back. It's like none of it matters to her... like all those lives she sacrificed are worthless..."

What exactly is he looking for? A little support from someone who actually understands him, the lone wolf? He's in the wrong place for that, and the poor man doesn't even seem to realize it.

"Maybe... maybe we shouldn't look back either."

( _If I look back, I'm lost._ )

Jon looks into his eyes, helpless.

"Maybe you love her enough not to look back," he says softly. "I... I can't do it."

He turns around and walks away.

"She loves you," Jorah says desperately. "She loves you so much. Please don't let her down. She's already lost so much."

Jon freezes.

"She's my Queen. I have sworn to serve her," he replies in an unemotional voice, knowing perfectly well that this is not what Jorah wants to hear.

He doesn't say anything else and disappears.

.

Daenerys looks out the window, pensive, closes her eyes and imagines her Unsullied spreading out across Westeros, stifling the slightest attempt at uprising, the slightest rebellious thought, smiles softly, satisfied. Her people will soon understand that she's nothing like Cersei Lannister and that she's only doing this for their sake.

She hopes that the incident with the Estermonts is not the first in a long series. She's disappointed that they opposed the presence of the Unsullied in the Stormlands, disappointed that they refused to accept her authority. She did not ask the Unsullied to show mercy when she sent them across the Seven Kingdoms, mercy has never done her any good, mercy is the same as death and betrayal.

( _Dracarys_ , Missandei whispers in her mind.)

The Estermonts refused to live in her new world, like the Tarlys before them, they were attached to the tyranny of the past, to the clutches of Cersei Lannister. Perhaps she did them a favor by not sparing them - they too are free, now, free from those invisible chains they did not want to get rid of.

"That's good, Dany," Viserys congratulates her."You're starting to wake the dragon."

"Don't be ridiculous," she replies curtly. "It was just an isolated incident. It won't happen again."

"Really?"

"Dany?"

She jumps. Jon walked in without her noticing. He glances around the room, frowning.

"Who were you talking to?"

"To myself," she replies calmly, ignoring Viserys's mocking eyes."I’m glad you’re here. I've been wanting to talk to you. Come here."

He joins her by the window, still confused, refusing to look at her.

"You're still thinking about what happened to the Estermonts," she guesses.

"Was it really necessary?"

His voice is imploring.

"They refused to submit."

"You could have convinced them differently."

"How?" she snaps. "They weren't trustworthy, none of my words could have convinced them completely. You know that very well."

Her eyes soften, Jon has a big heart, it's one of the things she loves most about him, she doesn't want them to fight, she has something else in mind.

"I've been thinking," she says. "I think we should get married."

He takes three steps back.

"What?"

(The horror she sees on his face is like a stab in her heart.)

"This is insane," he continues before she has time to respond. "You're a Queen. You can't marry a bastard."

"I wouldn't be marrying Jon Snow," she says.

( _Jon Stark_ , Viserys chuckles. _The White Wolf._ )

"I'd be marrying Aegon Targaryen."

She closes her eyes and their ancestors come prowling around the room. Aegon the Conqueror is holding his sister-wives Visenya and Rhaenys by the waist. Jaehaerys and Alysanne look tenderly at their fourteen children. Rhaenyra and her half-brother Aegon II finally decide to bury the hatchet and regret the tragic consequences of the Dance of the Dragons while Duncan spins Jenny of Oldstones without stopping to smile at her for a single second. Viserys walks towards Rhaella and Rhaegar, his eyes full of hope, and throws himself into their mother's arms.

_They've come for me, they've come to support me, to encourage me. They've come for us, the last dragons, the last hope of our dynasty._

"It won't come as a surprise to anyone, Sansa and Varys have done their job well," she says, her eyes shining. "We have the opportunity to create a dynasty that will last a thousand years, Jon. King's Landing will be our home, no one will dare come and take it from us, no one. The people will love us and chant our names."

She approaches him and puts a hand on his icy cheek, expecting him to smile at her like Duncan smiled at Jenny.

He doesn’t. His eyes don't sparkle. When she kisses him, he doesn't kiss her back.

"If I marry you... will you listen to me?" he finally sighs.

"Of course," she replies automatically.

"Look at that," Viserys laughs. "You would listen to a wolf? I thought you were smarter than that."

"You can trust me, Jon," she says, grabbing his hands. "You can trust me. We're going to make this world a better place."

He gives her an odd look and then lowers his head. Daenerys understands that she's won once again.

(Why isn’t she happy?)

She lets him walk away without trying to hold him back any longer.

It's too late, she knows. She destroyed his love along with King's Landing, but maybe love can rise from its ashes, just like dragons do.

.

Daenerys is sitting on her throne. Jorah and Jon have bowed before her. Viserys, standing beside her, nods approvingly.

"Perfect. They're afraid of you, Dany. A terrified wolf and a terrified bear, that's what they are. They'd never dare to betray you."

She wants to yell at him to shut up, but he's not entirely wrong. They really do look scared - is she that scary?

"The Unsullied I sent to the North have just arrived," she says, her voice trembling slightly. "Sansa refuses to let them into Winterfell."

Daenerys isn't even surprised. Sansa refused to come to bend the knee, she refuses her authority, she refuses to accept her as her Queen.

"This is another insult. It’ll be the last one."

"Dany-" Jon says.

"I think she may be more cooperative if Drogon and I pay her a visit," she cuts him off.

Viserys applauds, radiant.

"It's about time! Wake the dragon, show them what you can do."

"Don't do it, Dany," Jon begs her. "It would be a declaration of war."

"Maybe that's what Sansa wants. War."

"Your Grace," Jorah says. "I don't think a show of strength is the best solution."

"Let me go talk to Sansa," Jon continues. "Let me go convince her that your Unsullied are no threat."

Daenerys hesitates.

"You said you'd listen to me," Jon goes on. "You said you'd trust me if I agreed to marry you."

Jorah seems surprised, she feels guilty for not consulting him again. Maybe they're right, after all. Maybe there's still a chance to show mercy, maybe Jon can talk some sense into Sansa.

"All right," she says. "You'll go to Winterfell and talk to her."

"Thank you, Dany."

Jorah smiles at her, the smile she gives him back is bitter. Once they leave the throne room, Viserys explodes with rage.

"Why did you do this, Dany? You can't trust him! He will plot with his sisters to overthrow you. Your people needs to fear you!"

"I don't want my people to fear me," she replies.

_Mhysa! Mhysa! Mhysa!_

"I want my people to love me."

.

( _He will betray you. Sansa and Arya will persuade him to poison you, to pierce your heart. Sansa wants to cast you off the throne and take your place. Sansa is as untrustworthy as Cersei Lannister was. Don't let them, Dany. Regain control._ )

.

The next day, as Jon is already gone, Jorah catches her writing a message.

"Who is it for?" he asks.

"Yara Greyjoy. I want her to be at Winterfell at the same time as Jon."

(Yara is not a wolf, Yara has no reason to betray the dragon. Daenerys can trust her.)


	6. Chapter 6

The wind is blowing strongly and there are big black clouds in the sky. In the distance, thunder rumbles. A storm is coming.

Daenerys is standing on the beach waiting for Jon's boat to come ashore. He’s been gone for two months - an eternity. Two months of uncertainty except for a few ravens flying between Winterfell and Dragonstone. Behind her, Drogon roars. Has he felt the blood of the dragon approaching? It reminds her of the day she arrived on the island with her dreams and hopes.

With Tyrion.

Where is he now? Where has he found safety? Is he plotting with Cersei to reclaim the Iron Throne? Do lions dream of revenge against the dragon?

When he arrives, Jon doesn't seem surprised to find her here. He bows respectfully, Daenerys can't help but be disappointed once again.

(Aren't they getting married in just over a month's time? Does he really only see her as his Queen?)

"Your letters were evasive," Daenerys says as a greeting.

Viserys crosses his arms on his chest and stares scornfully at Jon.

"He wasn't going to tell you the details of his betrayal!"

"You know I prefer to say things face to face," he replies.

They both set off towards the castle.

"So?" Daenerys urges him.

Drogon flies away and disappears amidst the storm clouds.

"Sansa accepts the presence of the Unsullied in the North, but not at Winterfell."

She frowns at once. What is Sansa up to?

"That's not what I asked."

"It's a good compromise, Dany."

"Why does she refuse to let them into Winterfell? It's not an army, just a few soldiers."

He shrugs and changes the subject.

"See?" Viserys whispers to her. "He's hiding something from you. He's lying to you."

"I told her we were going to get married."

"How did she react?"

"What do you think?" Jon says bitterly.

Daenerys can't help but be pleased. Jon chose her. He could have stayed at Winterfell and left her but he's going to be her husband. Her King. He left the wolves behind, he's really going to be a dragon.

He grabs her arm, forcing her to stop.

"She's coming to the wedding, Dany. She's going to bend her knee, she told me. There's no point in going to war against the North, no point at all."

She nods slowly.

"Perfect."

They start moving again in silence.

( _Do you see, Viserys? The dragon is going to sleep, I'm not going to wake it._ )

A lightning bolt shines in the sky and the rain begins to fall.

The storm breaks out.

.

Jorah knocks on Jon's bedchamber door.

"Come in."

Jon is sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. Jorah can feel how desperate he is at once. He carefully comes and sits down beside him.

"Did everything go well? Your letters were rather evasive."

Jon laughs.

"Daenerys told me exactly the same thing."

A part of him is glad the same thought has crossed his Queen's mind.

(The other part, the one he ignores, the one he's trying to forget about, is horrified.)

"Sansa didn't understand," Jon says. "Sansa doesn't understand. Sansa doesn't want to understand. She doesn't understand that I want to marry a murderer."

Jorah shivers. It's the first time he's ever heard anyone refer to Daenerys that way. That word should be banned, that word is no reflection of reality, Daenerys is a fair and merciful Queen.

( _Don’t you remember King’s Landing?_ a little voice whispers in his mind.)

"If that's how you feel about her... why marry her?" Jorah asks.

Jon shakes his head, even more desperate.

"You don't understand either. Somebody has to... somebody has to try to contain her impulses. Sansa won't give in so easily, you know. If it wasn't for Yara Greyjoy, I never would've been able to convince her to come and bend the knee. I'm afraid... I'm afraid of what might happen in the future."

He gets up and walks over to the window.

"I'm trapped, Jorah," he admits. "I swore to serve her, and I can't break my oath. By marrying her, I renounce being a wolf, but I'll never be a real dragon, I know that."

All the unhappiness in the world seems to have fallen upon him. What would Ned Stark say if he saw him now? What would Rhaegar and Lyanna say?

Jon doesn't love Daenerys anymore, and Jorah could be happy about that, he could be euphoric at the thought of being the only one loving the Dragon Queen, at the thought of not having a rival for the first time in so many years.

He feels nothing but great sorrow. When he imagined Daenerys on the Iron Throne, he often saw Jon at her side. They smiled, and it broke his heart, but he also smiled because Daenerys was happy, because she was the most beloved Queen ever, because the Seven Kingdoms shone under her reign.

It will never be anything more than a dream, a lost illusion, a fantasy gone up in smoke.

"I'm sorry," Jorah says sincerely.

Jorah turns his head, their eyes meet. The wolf and the bear - the last walls between the dragon and madness.

"I'm sorry too," Jon answers. "I really am."

.

Daenerys watches the lords bend the knee for the second time, delighted. In a few hours, she and Jon will be married. In a few hours, the Targaryen dynasty will rise from the ashes. Her smile widens as Samwell Tarly and Gilly appear before her.

"I'm glad to see you again," she says. "And Jon will be even happier."

"Thank you for inviting us, Your Grace," Sam responds politely.

She glances at Gilly’s swelling belly and lays a hand on her own - it's desperately flat. She feels nervous. If Sam and Gilly have arrived, the Starks shouldn't be far...

(Why is she afraid? Sansa is the one who should be afraid, Sansa is the one who's about to enter the dragon's lair.)

After what seems like an eternity, Arya Stark appears and bows before her.

"My sister is coming," she says a little too dryly before turning to Gendry, whose eyes light up at once.

Jon is speaking quietly with Jorah. They both glance at her worriedly.

"Look, there's that wolf bitch," Viserys says.

The conversations stop when Sansa appears with Yara, who bends the knee.

"Your Grace."

Daenerys gives her a cordial nod, then turns to Sansa, raising her eyebrows. Her eyes are two oceans of frost.

(Fire melts ice. Hasn't she figured that out yet?)

"Sansa," Yara whispers. "Please."

Out of the corner of her eye, Daenerys sees Jon holding his breath.

Sansa slowly bends the knee.

"Your Grace," she says, a horrible hypocritical smile on her lips.

"She's laughing at you," Viserys spits out. "Show that bitch who the Queen is, Dany."

"Lady Stark," Daenerys replies. "Thank you for coming."

"The pleasure is all mine."

After a mocking bow, she grabs Yara's arm and walks away.

.

( _She bent the knee. It's all over. I won't need to wake the dragon. It's over, it's over._ )

.

"Father, Smith, Warrior, Mother, Maiden, Crone, Stranger, I'm his and he's mine, from this day until the end of my days."

Daenerys does not smile as she pronounces her vows. Her joy turned to ashes when Jon's emotionless eyes fell upon her.

_He doesn't love me anymore._

She does not smile when the septon says they are husband and wife. She does not smile when Jorah comes to put the crown on Jon's head - she feels incredibly empty.

"I told you," Viserys says. "He's afraid of you. And that's good. Fear is what's going to keep you on the Iron Throne."

Jon doesn't speak to her once during the feast. Heartbroken, Daenerys walks towards Sam and Gilly.

"Sam," she says, making herself smile. "I have a proposition for you."

"Oh?"

Suddenly nervous, he casts anxious glances around him.

"I'd like you to become my maester."

"Your... maester?"

"Yes. We have a library here at Dragonstone, you know. I could use your advice."

She points to Gilly's belly.

"I know this may not be the best place to raise a child, but the Red Keep and the capital are being rebuilt. We'll return there as soon as we can."

"Well... it's just..."

He's hesitating, terribly uncomfortable.

"You killed his father and his brother," Viserys laughs. "What did you expect?"

"I think Jon is lonely," she finally says. "He probably wishes he had his best friend around."

(Jon is a dragon now. Daenerys and Aegon Targaryen. He’d never be alone if he really wanted to.)

"In that case... I accept your offer," Sam says, bowing his head.

Daenerys thanks him in a low voice before turning away. She wanders around the room. No one seems to be very happy.

Gendry Baratheon tries in vain to convince Arya to dance with him. As for Yara, she turns to Sansa and succeeds in making her smile. The she-wolf grasps her outstretched hand graciously. Both of them start spinning slowly. Daenerys watches them without really knowing what to think about it.

(Is the kraken walking away from the dragon, attracted by the she-wolf?)

"Your Grace?"

She turns to Jorah.

"Would you dance with me?"

She smiles for the first time in hours.

"Of course."

Someone starts singing and Daenerys's heart turns upside down.

_High in the halls of the kings who are gone,_

_Jenny would dance with her ghosts..._

"I love this song so much," she whispers as she embraces Jorah.

_The ones she had lost, and the ones she had found..._

"The story of Jenny and Duncan used to make me dream, once. I dreamed of a love story as beautiful as theirs."

_And the ones who had loved her the most..._

"But I'll never have it, I know that. Jon doesn't love me anymore. He'll probably never love me again."

Jorah's arms hold her tighter.

"I do love you," he whispers.

Daenerys sheds a few tears.

_And she never wanted to leave, never wanted to leave..._

.

Night has fallen, stars are shining in the sky. Daenerys comes out of the castle so that she no longer feels as though she's suffocating under Jon's indifference. Someone is already there. Sansa's red hair almost seems to taunt her.

"Lady Stark?"

Daenerys slowly approaches her.

"Your Grace," Sansa replies without glancing at her.

Her voice is as cold as her eyes are.

"I don't want us to be enemies," Daenerys says.

_I don't want to wake the dragon. Please don't make me do it._

"What you did in King's Landing-"

"Belongs to the past," she cuts her off. "And it can never be undone. I've chosen not to look back. You should do the same."

Sansa doesn't respond, her lips twist, distorted by the rage she feels and cannot let out.

"Why do you refuse to let the Unsullied into Winterfell?"

"Why would I accept? I've just bent the knee before you. What more do you need?"

( _She'll betray you_ , Viserys whispers. _She'll betray you, and she'll kill you._ )

"I don't trust you," Daenerys tells her. "You're partly to blame for the situation. If you hadn't told Tyrion Jon's true identity, we wouldn't be in this situation."

"Really? You seem to be benefiting from the situation. You've succeeded, you'll have your Targaryen dynasty."

Daenerys doesn't like where this conversation is heading.

"I might believe you have something to hide. Or someone. Tyrion and Cersei Lannister, for instance."

Sansa laughs as if she has just said something very funny, yet Daenerys thinks she can see a glint of sadness in her eyes.

"Cersei and Tyrion are dead."

The conviction she can hear in her voice convinces Daenerys that she's not lying, that two lions are not hiding in the North, planning their revenge.

"They're alive. They ran away."

"How do you know that?"

"I just know. He helped her escape."

"That's impossible. Tyrion would never have helped Cersei. He hates her."

"Is that really what you think?"

For the first time, Sansa seems confused.

"I've lived in King's Landing, I've lived with them. I was Tyrion's wife. They hate each other. Even if what you say is true, even if they ran away together... they'll kill each other."

"You were his wife," Daenerys admits. "But did you really know him? He was my Hand. I still remember the day I first met him... he looked so lost, far from home. Far from his pride of lions. I accepted him despite his name, despite what his family had done to mine, I listened to his advice. I was so hopeful, I was sure he would be loyal to me until the end. I was naive. The Lannisters... what they had cannot be described. A bond stronger than any betrayal or attempted murder. I wish I knew that so much."

She was too naive. She should have known a lion would remain a lion. She imagines what she'd do if she saw Tyrion again, how she'd react, what she'd say to him.

_You betrayed me. I trusted you so much. You let me down._

"I don't understand what your point is. Tyrion hates Cersei, he's never loved her."

Daenerys closes her eyes and shakes her head.

"Have you heard of her walk of atonement?"

"I have."

"We were together when we heard the news. I didn't say anything, but do you know how he reacted? He burst out laughing."

"Of course, he-"

"He burst out laughing," Daenerys cuts her off. "He said she deserved it, that she reaped what she had sown. Maybe some part of him meant it. When it got dark, I couldn't sleep, so I wandered the halls. I walked past his bedchamber door. A strange noise caught my attention. Do you know what I heard?"

Sansa doesn’t reply. Her eyes speak for her. She knows, of course.

"I heard him crying."

Silence.

(Daenerys wishes she had understood that day, understood that in the end, Tyrion's loyalty would always belong to another Queen, the one who was his blood).

"Cersei hates him," Sansa says again.

Is she trying to convince herself by denying what is obvious?

"Does she? She could have killed him, you know, the day he went begging outside the gates of King's Landing to convince her to surrender... she could have killed him, but she didn't. Does that look like hatred to you?"

Sansa thinks for a few moments, but as she always does, Sansa ends up looking back and shakes her head. Her memories prevent her from considering any other possibility, perhaps that's why the fire of animosity will always burn between them.

"They'll never get along."

Daenerys shrugs, she has nothing else to say.

"I hope you're right. I truly do."

She turns around and starts walking away.

"He loved you, you know," Sansa says.

She freezes.

"He was in love with you. He didn't tell me, but I knew. He loved you so much."

Daenerys lets out a bitter laugh.

"I loved him too. Maybe not the way he wanted, but I loved him. I gave him everything, everything."

_He loved me, but he loved Cersei more, even if he never admitted it, neither to me nor to himself._

Sansa seems surprised, Daenerys almost feels like crying, why does everyone see her as a monster with no feelings? She loved Tyrion, she would have killed for him if need be, she gave him everything, everything, and it was all for nothing, he betrayed her anyway.

"Don't get me wrong, Sansa. It's true, I loved him... but he betrayed me. If I find him, I'll have him killed. I'll have them both killed."

She goes back to the castle without looking back.

.

There is no bedding ceremony. Jon shares her bed but he barely touches her, Daenerys kisses his lips, they're frozen.

He does his duty, nothing more, and leaves the room as soon as they're done. Viserys watches him walk away with a sigh.

"You don’t have love, Dany. Nobody loves you."

"You're lying," she protests weakly.

"Fear is what you need to choose. Wake the dragon."

.

(Fear, love, love, fear, love, fear - she doesn't know anymore.)


	7. Chapter 7

The sun is barely up when Daenerys opens her eyes, last night she dreamed of a red comet and a blazing sun, dreams are a strange, unknown, a world almost inaccessible, a world where thousands of dragons fly in the sky and where lemon trees grow in the Seven Kingdoms.

A world where the people love her and chant her name.

Her bed seems too large for her, too cold without Jon, when she met him for the first time she thought his skin was cold, he who came from the North, she was wrong, his skin reminds her of a summer day, warm sand, the flickering flame of a candle, something soothing, reassuring.

That too will belong to the world of her dreams, something that doesn't exist, something she will end up forgetting or turning into a nightmare, she doesn't know what she would like best.

Daenerys gets up and comes near the window, the storm is gone but the wind is still blowing, she sees Drogon flying over the sea, closes her eyes, imagines that she has dragon wings, imagines being able to breathe fire, subdue the world, melt snow and mistrust.

("But you've already done it," Viserys whispers. "It wasn't Drogon who decided to burn King's Landing to the ground.)

She walks out of her room and wanders the deserted corridors, it's still early, most of the guests are still sleeping, she wonders if they feel safe here, in the dragon's lair, if they're afraid she'll come and slay them in their sleep. Their fears, if they exist, are unfounded, she is not a bloodthirsty monster, she would never do something so despicable.

A little boy almost runs into her, she blinks, thinks he's adorable, gives him a little smile.

"Sam!" Gilly says. "Watch where you’re going."

Little Sam stares at her, frowning, Daenerys wonders what he thinks of her, what does she look like in the eyes of such a young child?

"Why do you have bells in your hair?"

"Sam!" Gilly says. "Don't bother the Queen."

She rushes towards her son, grabs his hand and squeezes it tight.

"I'm sorry, Your Grace," Gilly says, looking down.

"It’s all right," she answers kindly.

Daenerys kneels down, a curious warmth spreads through her.

"Every bell celebrates a victory," she explains.

"You've won a lot of battles, then!"

"That's right."

"Is that why you're the Queen? Because you've won so many battles?"

Her smile fades away, it melts like snow in the sun, maybe it never existed, of course she's the Queen because she's won, what does she fell ill at ease?

( _Ring the bells! Ring the bells!_ )

Gilly has noticed her trouble, she reacts at once.

"Let's go, Sam. The Queen has more important things to do than answer your questions."

Daenerys watches them go away, her heart beats fast, little Sam knows nothing, of course, he knows neither fire nor ashes and he will never know them if no one decides to tell him about them, he will only see her as a silver-haired savior, he represents the hope of a new world, just like the child Gilly is carrying in her womb. Daenerys puts one hand on her own, sighs, everything in dead in there, everything is cursed, it's so unfair, why can't she once again experience the warmth of another skin against her own, why can't she hear the cries of a newborn baby, stroke its hair and get lost in its eyes?

The Targaryen name will die along with her and Jon, she hopes it won't happen anytime soon but it doesn't change anything, she feels like a cloud of smoke that will vanish soon, that will be forgotten, replaced, she hates this, she deserves better, much better, heirs and a dynasty that will last a thousand years.

.

Jorah is out of the castle, the wind is almost too strong, he wonders what it would be like to fly away, all these years he has often dreamed of riding alongside Daenerys, or even better, dreamed of riding Drogon with her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

He can see his Queen in the distance, Drogon lands and comes to meet her. She talks to him but he's too far to hear her.

"What happens now?"

Jon comes and stands beside him, he's the King now, but he looks even more miserable than the day before.

(Aegon Targaryen never existed, does not exist and never will.)

"I don't know," he replies sincerely.

What will Daenerys do? How long will she wait before she sets out to conquer the world? Is she hoping for another omen, another sign? Does she wish to wait until summer returns?

"She wants to be loved," Jon says. "I know she does."

He glances at him.

"And you know it too."

Daenerys is riding Drogon, both of them flying away, tickling the dark clouds.

"It's insane, isn't it?" Jon laughs bitterly. "She's conquered the Iron Throne with war and fire, she's burned an entire city to the ground. You'd think she's only motivated by her love for power... but it's not true. In spite of everything she's done, she still hopes to be loved by her people."

Jon seems to find it ironic, and it probably is, Daenerys Stormborn, the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, the Breaker of Chains, the Unburnt, the one who longs for a free world, just wanting to be loved.

Jon's face hardens.

"They'll never love her," he predicts.

(And it's a terrible thing to hear.)

"What she did... they'll never forget it. You just can't ignore all those lives that have been sacrificed... it's impossible."

Jorah wants to tell him that he's wrong, that he knows nothing, that he wasn't there when a whole people raised Daenerys and called her Mhysa, he wasn't there when she came out of the fire with her dragons, he wasn't there to see those miracles, how could Jon imagine them when sometimes Jorah can’t believe they’re real?

He remains silent.

"What are you suggesting?" he finally asks.

Jon shrugs. Tired. Overwhelmed. Desperate.

"Let's wait. That's all we can do."

He walks away. Jorah watches Daenerys for long minutes. She sees him, passes over him and waves at him.

He waves his hand and smiles at her.

.

(His smile - his only weapon to face the madness of his Queen.)

.

Guests walk around the island in small groups, some are getting ready to leave, no one seems to want to linger very long. Jorah spots Sansa Stark standing on the edge of a cliff, the she-wolf who is so wary of the dragon, maybe he can help Daenerys if he goes to talk to her.

"Lady Stark?"

She turns, gives him a slight nod and turns her eyes back to the stormy sea.

"Lord Mormont."

Jorah stands beside her almost timidly. They both stare at the horizon for a long time, the silence of the wolves is almost as heavy as the silence of the dragons, it reminds him of Winterfell and the snow, of the Long Night and death.

"You seem to be a good man," Sansa finally says.

"Well... I hope so."

She turns to him, looks him in the eye.

"That's why I don't understand."

"Understand what?"

Her eyes are strangely beautiful. He can see the glint of determination in them, the same glint that shines in Daenerys's eyes, the same glint that has kept his heart beating for so many years.

(It's not the glint of madness, otherwise his heart would have stopped beating.)

"I don't understand why you continue to serve her."

"You don't know her," he replies automatically.

"I know enough," Sansa says bitterly.

(She only knows the worst part of Daenerys, she's never seen the best... if only she'd like to try, if only she'd like to look forward...)

"You don’t see-"

"Do you know what I see, Ser Jorah?" Sansa cuts him off. "I see a sky of ashes and thousands of corpses. I see a destroyed city. Every morning, I wake up and look up at the sky wondering if I'm going to see a dragon. I imagine what she could do to Winterfell - to my home. To my family."

There's a note of despair in Sansa's cold voice, the trace of old wounds never healed, Winterfell is to her what the house with the red door was to Daenerys, of course she wants to protect her home, how could he blame her?

"You have nothing to fear," he insists, he tries to convince himself almost as hard as he tries to convince Sansa. "Daenerys knows how to be fair, I promise you. She knows how to show mercy, she'll make the world a better place..."

Sansa frowns, seems to understand something, shakes her head slightly, a bitter smile on her lips.

"You love her, don't you?"

"I,..."

What's the point of denying it? It's not a secret. It never was.

"You remind me of Tyrion," Sansa says. "He loved her too. He promised me she'd make the world a better place. And where is he now?"

Jorah wants to shout that Tyrion is a traitor, Tyrion let her down when she needed him the most, he's not like him, he's betrayed her once before, he won't do it again, never, he'll be loyal to her until the end.

"Please," he says. "All this belongs to the past... don't defy her, I beg you."

Sansa's face is emotionless.

"Maybe I was wrong. You seem exactly like her... you never look back. I do."

Without saying another word, she turns around and walks away towards the castle.

Jorah doesn't try to catch up with her.

.

(Sansa is like a lone wolf, a distant storm, a desert of ice - she will be the end of Daenerys one way or another.)

.

Daenerys walks with Yara around the island, she doesn't have peace of mind, she has the feeling that the kraken is just waiting for the first opportunity to run away and hide in the North, Viserys tells to her to get rid of her, to make a move before she betrays her, she pushes him away, she would never hurt Yara, she's one of the only people who won't look down in her presence.

In the distance, they both notice Sansa and Jorah talking.

"You haven't told me how your stay at Winterfell was," Daenerys says.

"Everything was fine, thank you very much."

("So, Dany, which one do you think will stab you in the back first? My bet's on the kraken. You don't trust her, and she knows it.")

Daenerys doesn't want to be suspicious of Yara, she remembers how they met in Meereen, how Yara held her arm, how her eyes shone when she looked at her, the oath that united them.

"What do you think of Sansa? "she asks.

Yara opens her mouth to answer, closes it, looks at Sansa again, thinks. The she-wolf faces Jorah, she seems upset. Then Yara smiles, looking dreamy. And Daenerys's heart is turned upside down.

(That look... that's how she used to look at her.)

"I like her very much," Yara admits.

Sansa ends her conversation with Jorah and goes back to the castle.

"Why?"

Yara closes her eyes, letting herself be lulled by the memory of those months in the she-wolf's lair.

"She's a survivor. A fighter. She's been through so much... she could've been completely broken, but she rose again. And she kept on fighting. She can be fierce as she can be gentle. She has a good heart. What she did for my brother... I could never thank her enough. I admire her a lot."

Daenerys is silent, thinks of Yara's words, they are sharper than ice, she really realizes what bitterness is, and perhaps jealousy.

"I see."

Maybe she made a mistake when she sent Yara to Winterfell. Will she give her loyalty to another, like Tyrion before her?

"Does she represent a threat?"

"No," Yara says. "I promise you. Sansa doesn't want war. Her people suffered too much."

"Her people... " Daenerys repeats.

Yara stiffens, looks like she regrets her words.

"That's not what I meant... Your Grace, that's not-"

"I know," Daenerys says.

She starts to move away, Yara catches up with her.

"The Northerners love her," Daenerys goes on. "I know it, I've seen it. If she asked them, they'd rise up against me."

"It won't happen, I promise you."

Daenerys wants to believe her, she really does, but how could she when she's been betrayed so many times? Oaths don't make much sense anymore, she's learned that to her sorrow and she's paid the price.

Cersei Lannister didn't hesitate to break her promise - will Sansa do the same?

"You have nothing to fear," Yara repeats.

She gently grabs her arm, squeezing it, Daenerys shivers, finds herself trapped by her bright eyes, the same eyes in which she once saw admiration and respect, and perhaps a little more.

"All right."

.

(She can't read the future, so how does she know she'll end up regretting this?)

.

Daenerys goes to the kitchens, she's surprised to find Sansa there. The she-wolf is eating a small lemon cake.

"I'm not like you," she says dryly, looking straight ahead, as if she were talking to someone.

Daenerys steps forward. The room is empty.

"Lady Stark."

Sansa seems almost embarrassed to be caught in such a posture, slightly bows her head.

"Your Grace."

Daenerys approaches her.

"May I?"

Sansa shrugs.

"This is your home."

She sits down next to Sansa and grabs a cake. She breathes in the scent of lemon, eyes closed, nostalgic.

"Who were you talking to?"

"To myself."

"Oh."

("Who do you think's talking to her? Her father? Her mother? One of her brothers?" Viserys asks. "She may be as mad as you are...")

"I didn't know you liked lemon cakes," Sansa says, frowning.

"You don't know much about me," she replies bitterly.

Sansa can't think of anything to answer, she turns her eyes back to her cake, probably to avoid admitting that Daenerys is right. A wolf can be as stubborn as a lion or a dragon.

"They remind me of my childhood," she says. "My home."

"I thought the Red Keep was your home."

Oh, she believed it too, and she still does, except that the Red Keep is covered in ashes, and Daenerys never wanted to be Queen of the ashes, did she? Two homes exist in her mind, one has gone up in smoke, the other is fading from her memory, it's sad, it really is, she had two homes and she lost them both.

"Me too," she says, feeling a lump in her throat, she can't cry in front of Sansa, she’s a dragon, she should never be weak. Sansa is confused, she has finished her cake but doesn't move, as if she didn't dare to get up and leave.

"Lemon cakes were my only source of comfort when I was a prisoner in King's Landing. I’ve always loved them."

Daenerys is surprised that they agree on something, hope is growing inside her, she clenches her fists, she can't risk being disappointed, not again.

"I was surprised that Ser Brienne didn't come with you," she says, pulling herself together.

"Brienne is guarding Winterfell for me," Sansa replies.

"I see."

It’s odd, Bran Stark stayed up north, is Sansa lying to her?

"Yara tells me I have nothing to fear from you. And I'd like to believe her. Can I?"

Sansa nods briefly.

"I bent the knee."

"It doesn't mean anything. Tyrion bent the knee before me. And where is he now?"

Sansa's eyes become cold when she hears the name of her former husband, Daenerys wonders if she still has some affection for him, if she ever did.

"My sister Arya has a rather peculiar list," Sansa says. "A list of people she needs to kill."

She looks her straight in the eye, her voice doesn't tremble.

"She has strange abilities, too, that even I can't understand... she's a Faceless girl. She's capable of taking anyone's face. You'll admit it's pretty convenient to get close to her victims. Walder Frey was on her list, for example. Petyr Baelish. Cersei Lannister... and where are they now?"

Sansa gets up. Daenerys does the same.

"Is that a threat?" the Queen asks, coldly.

"Just a warning," Sansa answers. "Stay away from Winterfell, Your Grace, and all will be well."

She bows and walks away without glancing back.

Daenerys stays there, pondering and staring at the crumbs of her lemon cake for long minutes.


	8. Chapter 8

Daenerys is flying.

No obstacles stand in Drogon's way, the sky is blue and the sun is shining, warming her skin. Someone bursts out laughing, an innocent and joyful laugh, a laugh in which she hears no madness, no crackling of flames, no bells and no screams. She looks down at the silver-haired child sitting in front of her.

The little boy turns his head towards her and smiles.

"It's so beautiful, Mother."

Tears of emotion flow from his purple eyes (oh, she's crying too).

"All this will belong to you one day. You'll be a great King."

"Really?"

"Of course. "

His smile is hotter than the sun, more beautiful than a star, purer than snow. Daenerys closes her eyes.

Her cheeks are wet when she opens them, when she sees no blue sky, no sun, no dragon, no child, when she contemplates the gray walls of her bedchamber, alone in her cold bed. She puts a hand on her flat belly, tries not to sob, why can't life be born there? Why can't it be the cradle of her great and magnificent dynasty, the fertile ground of her future?

Viserys appears and sits on the bed. For once, he doesn't laugh, he just looks at her.

"I will never have children."

Her voice is neither sad nor broken, simply resigned, her dream is like that red comet that crossed the sky after the birth of her dragons, it lit up her path and then it left, now it's as if it never existed. Just another lost illusion.

"Why?" Viserys asks.

"I have been cursed by this witch."

He laughs.

"And you believed her?"

"I-"

She frowns, of course she believed her, she still does, why wouldn't she?

"I've never gotten pregnant again."

He snorts with contempt.

"Daario Naharis was a weak man, unworthy of you. No wonder it didn’t work."

"Jon... Jon is a Targaryen."

"Jon Snow!" he spits. "He's a wolf, Dany. I told you before, he's too weak, too insignificant. You have the blood of the dragon, you're the last true Targaryen. Dragons don't mix with wolves."

"I don't have a choice."

"Really?"

He gets up and starts to fade away.

"Your dreams come true, Dany. Your destiny is to rule the world and pass it on to your heirs. Don't let a witch or a weak husband stop you."

Daenerys approaches the window. The night begins to fade away, she looks for a sign, an omen, anything, anything to prove that Viserys is right, that this child is waiting for her on the path of her destiny.

Just as the sun finally breaks through the clouds, Drogon roars.

Daenerys rubs her belly and smiles.

.

( Her destiny is like the sun. Brilliant, radiant, unquenchable. Her destiny is a comet which is sometimes invisible but which will leave its mark in the sky forever.)

.

Daenerys is looking for Jon, hope is reborn at last, it almost looks like winter is coming to an end, an heir, that's what they need, the laughter and smiles of a child, she will be a good mother, Jon will love it at once, and maybe he'll start to love her again, exactly as he used to, the light in the child's eyes will burn the last ashes and make them disappear.

She's radiant, her heart quivers with excitement, what can a bitter witch do against the blood of the dragon? She bids farewell to prophecies and curses: her future will be written in fire and blood.

She feels like flying to the council table, Jon and Jorah are already there, waiting for her, she catches Jon's eye and then suddenly winter comes back, her heart slows down, her smile dies on her lips.

(Jon - ice.)

"Is there a problem?" she asks.

Jon is upset, nods to Jorah and approaches the window, as if he couldn't bear to look at her anymore.

"Well… there are some problems," Jorah admits.

"Oh."

She sits down at the table, crossing her hands in her lap, waiting for him to continue. She doesn't let his worried look overwhelm her, Jorah always worries too much, it must be nothing, her eyes are already turned towards the path of greatness and freedom, it's probably nothing serious, nothing she can't deal with quickly.

"Well?"

"It's partly about the Unsullied, Your Grace."

"Another skirmish with a noble family?"

"No, Your Grace..."

He hesitates, she's almost annoyed, she would have gotten angry if it had been someone else.

"Don't be afraid, Jorah. Speak up."

"Yes... all right..."

He takes a deep breath. Jon still hasn't turned around.

"It's no longer just about the noble families, it's about the whole population."

"What do you mean?"

He looks down, pulls himself together and looks up again.

(Is he afraid of her too?)

"Your Grace, would you allow me to give you my opinion?"

"Of course, Jorah. You're my Hand. You can tell me anything."

Her joy is ruined, this longed-for heir will have to wait a little longer, maybe it's not so important, she's young, she has years and years ahead of her to give birth to this child.

"All right. I don't think it was a good idea to order the Unsullied to be so authoritarian."

Daenerys doesn't know what to answer, waits for him to continue.

"There have been several fights between peasants or merchants and the Unsullied, especially in Dorne and the Stormlands."

"Fights? About what?"

Jorah shrugs, embarrassed.

"Trivial things, Your Grace... some drunks have defied the Unsullied and regretted it deeply. Others can't bear to feel constantly watched. As you know, the Unsullied are not known for their patience or mercy. There have been deaths."

She nods. Her face remains emotionless.

"I see. Is that all?"

Jon turns around. He comes and stands in front of her.

"People are scared, Dany. They’ve been running away."

"What?"

"The harbors are under attack. Dozens of ships have already been stolen, and it goes on and on. There's a mass exodus to Essos."

"An... exodus?"

How is that possible? How can all these people be thinking of running away? Running away from her? Don't they see what she's done? She's driven out Cersei Lannister, she's driven out a tyrant, a murderer. Don't they realize she's the Queen they've been waiting for?

"And that leads to more trouble. Essos merchants no longer dare land in Westeros for fear of having their ships stolen. The trade is in crisis."

They are both waiting for her to say something, she doesn't know what to answer, her whole mind is still occupied by her hopes and her destiny, how can she deal with such a situation?

"Why don't the Unsullied stop them from leaving?" she says.

"There are not enough of them on the coasts."

"Well... let me think."

She gets up and goes to the window, imagines all those people on their stolen ships, desperately fleeing from the blood of the dragon, trying to hide from the sun, burying themselves in the shadows.

"This must stop immediately," she says after a few minutes. "I want more Unsullied to be present in the harbors. No one will be allowed to approach a ship under any circumstances."

("Is that all Dany? Don’t stop now. Don't be afraid. They have to understand that it's useless to run away, that you can't oppose the dragon and get away with it.")

"Command the Unsullied to kill anyone who comes too close to a ship."

Viserys nods, satisfied as Jon grabs her arm and makes her turn around. All the warmth has definitely left her body, she's so cold now.

"Dany, please... you can't murder innocent civilians."

(Not again, he doesn't say, but Daenerys hears it all the same.)

"They're not innocent. They are thieves who take what does not belong to them and leave the realm without any good reason. I won't allow it."

"But..."

"I've made up my mind, Jon."

She leaves the room without looking back, it looks like her heir is fading away, will Jon still agree to touch her after that?

("It doesn't matter. I told you, he's not worthy of you.")

.

Daenerys climbs on Drogon's back and flies away, just like in her dream, it's easy to close her eyes and imagine her child right in front of her, she has a little smile on her lips, her imagination has no limits, she can almost feel him right here, pressed against her heart, she sees his silver hair and purple eyes, the future of house Targaryen, her legacy secured for thousands of years.

Drogon lands on top of the castle, Daenerys looks at the horizon, the wind makes the bells ring in his hair, the sound of victory is truly a beautiful song.

"I thought you wanted your people to love you," Viserys says.

"Of course I want them to love me."

"I'm not sure that holding them by force and killing them if they try to run away is a good way to get love."

She glares at him.

"What do you know about that? I have the situation under control. I'm going to stop them from leaving, and then I'm going to make them love me. They won't have a choice, they'll come to understand."

With a child everything will be all right, she will give to the people what Cersei didn't, an heir, someone to admire, to love, people will rush to see them, they will smile at them, they will sing their name, the blood of the dragon deserves to be celebrated, adored.

"You'll see, Drogon," she whispers. "Everything is going to be all right. An heir is the key, I know. I can feel it."

She feels powerful on her dragon, she really feels like the Queen, feels like she's invincible, for a moment she thinks how easy it would be to fly to the house with the red door and the lemon tree, how easy it would be to bring fire and blood to the harbors.

"Burn them all, right? " Viserys laughs.

.

(It's a good thing she didn't come to Westeros to be Queen of the ashes.)

.

Daenerys is waiting outside the bedchamber door with Jorah, Jon and little Sam. Gilly's screams are breaking the silence, the little boy has tears in his eyes.

"Why is she screaming like that?"

Daenerys crouches down, gives him a reassuring smile, since she has finally realized that nothing was stopping her from having a child her maternal instinct seems to have awakened.

"Your little brother or sister will be here soon," she says. "It will be over soon."

"Really?"

"I promise you."

She hugs him, she shivers when his little arms wrap around her waist and imagines hugging her own child. Jon looks at them without saying a word, Jorah smiles tenderly. Finally Samwell comes out of the room, looking tired but happy.

"It's a girl," he says.

For the first time in months Jon smiles sincerely, Daenerys wonders if her King would be so happy if it was their own child who was just born.

"May I come in?" she asks.

Sam is startled, looks down, and nods in agreement.

"Yes, Your Grace. Of course, Your Grace. It would be an honor, Your Grace."

She thanks him with a nod, enters the room, approaches the bed. Gilly looks like she’s about to faint but she’s glowing, she doesn't take her eyes off the baby she's holding in her arms.

"Congratulations," Daenerys whispers.

She closes her eyes, tries to remember what it feels like to be pregnant, unfortunately her memories are blurred, Rhaego belongs to another time, she's come so far since then.

"Thank you," Gilly answers shyly.

She bites her lip and then says in a hesitant voice:

"Would you like to hold her?"

"Really?"

She nods, Daenerys doesn't hesitate, it's even better than with little Sam, she too will have the right to know that, to know what it's like to have someone of her own. She gives the child back to Gilly with a dreamy smile on her lips.

"Get some rest."

Jon gives her an odd look when she walks out of the room but she doesn't see it. He's not the one she's looking at.

"Are you all right, Your Grace?" Jorah asks, frowning.

She keeps smiling.

"Everything is all right."

.

("Jon's not worthy of you. He's a wolf. His loyalty will always belong to the wolves.")

.

Jorah knocks on the door almost timidly. It's late, very late, night has fallen, he wonders why Daenerys needs him at such an hour.

"Come in."

She's sitting in front of her mirror, undoing her braids. He feels a lump in his throat.

"You wanted to speak to me, Your Grace?"

"Yes. Come closer, Jorah."

He does as she says, their eyes meet in the mirror.

"Will you help me?" she asks, pointing to her hair.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Don't be shy."

His hands tremble when his fingers touch the silvery hair that has haunted so many of his nights, it's even softer than it was in his dreams and his fantasies, he gently undoes the braids. Daenerys lets him, eyes closed.

"Do you think I'm too harsh, Jorah?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm talking about the mass exodus to Essos. I was right to order the Unsullied to hold the people back, wasn't I?"

"Yes, Your Grace," he replies automatically, his heart is beating wildly, he can no longer think clearly, if she asked him to jump out of the window he would probably do it without hesitation, love really makes you lose your mind.

She smiles.

"Thank you, Jorah. I know I can count on you."

"Of course, Your Grace."

( _Yes, Your Grace, of course, Your Grace, anything for you, anything._ )

Daenerys frowns, he wonders where this conversation will lead them.

"Do you remember Mirri Maz Duur?" she asks.

"I do."

"And do you remember what she said to me?"

He hesitates to answer, she notices.

"She told me that I could never give birth to a child."

He perfectly remembers that bloody witch, the promise she made to Daenerys, the healing of her husband, he remembers lifting her up as she lay unconscious on the ground, remembers the pain in her eyes when she heard what had become of her child.

"And I believed her. All those years, I believed her."

He's finished undoing her braids. She hands him a brush, he runs it slowly through her beautiful hair.

"But today I realize it doesn't make sense. The blood of the dragon flows through my veins. I'm no ordinary woman. My dreams come true. Nothing she told me makes sense."

Daenerys seems absolutely convinced by what she's saying, he knows that look, it's the look she had when they were planning the conquest of Westeros.

(He loves that look.)

"I can have children. I want to have children. An heir is what I need to strengthen my reign. An heir that everyone will love. Don't you agree?"

"You're probably right. Is this what you wanted to discuss with me?"

She's noticed how embarrassed he is. She seems to be enjoying it. She stands up, looks into his eyes, smiles.

"Actually... I want to do more than just talk, tonight."

He takes a step back, his heart beats too fast, his whole being catches fire. Did he really understand?

"Your Grace?"

That's impossible, he must be dreaming, he must have misunderstood, yet Daenerys wraps her arms around his waist.

"Do you love me, Jorah?"

"Of course. More than anything."

"Then help me, please. I need this heir... help me."

When she stands on tiptoes, when he feels her breath on his face, and then when her lips rest on his own, he realizes that it's all real, that she's really kissing him, that her heart is pressed against his heart.

"Wait," he says, out of breath. "Jon-"

"Jon doesn't love me anymore. He barely touches me. I'm so lonely, Jorah. I want to feel loved."

When Daenerys kisses him again, he stops thinking.

.

(It's a shame that it took the destruction of a city and thousands of dead people for him to feel her skin against his skin.)


	9. Chapter 9

How could he have refused?

He loves Daenerys, he has loved her for so many years, she has haunted his dreams and nourished his imagination, she is the one he has fought for, the reason why he has kept breathing when lying down and waiting for the sweet hereafter would have been so much easier, for her he has braved heat, sickness and his broken heart - how could he have refused?

(It's simple, though. All he had to do was shake his head, take ten steps back and walk out of the room. It would have been easy, so easy, but he's already turned away too many times.)

Jorah is looking at the ceiling. Daenerys has fallen asleep against him, her face is relaxed, she has a slight smile on her lips. She looks happy, happy to no longer be alone, happy to be loved. He too is happy, of course, probably happier than he has been for a long time, since the bells and the ashes, yet he frowns and feels guilty.

What he's done is wrong, he knows it is. Daenerys is Jon's wife, not his, it may be sad, it may be the worst injustice in the world, but it's just the way it is. Jon is the blood of the dragon, the King, not him. They both swore an oath to which he was merely a spectator. They are both destined to greatness, he should hide in the shadows and watch in silence, as he's always done.

(But he didn't this time. He entered the light of her lips, attracted by the burning sun of her eyes.)

His feels a lump in his throat. How is he going to look Jon in the face now? Should he tell him? How will he react if he finds out?

Daenerys moves, opens her eyes. Their eyes meet.

"Jorah? You're not sleeping?"

"I’m fine. Go back to sleep."

She sits up, he quietly looks down not to see her naked chest. She gently grabs his chin and makes him raise his head.

"Do you regret it?"

He notices a note of anxiety in her voice, he reacts immediately, grabs her hand and kisses it.

"Tonight was the most beautiful night in my life," he promises.

It's not a lie, it was even better than anything he could have imagined, his heart is beating fast, maybe it will eventually explode. Daenerys seems reassured, yet she frowns.

"But..."

She sighs, she's guessed, maybe because the same doubts burn deep inside her.

"Jon."

He nods.

"He's a good man," he says. "He's your husband. Your king. A dragon. I'm just an old bear."

She wraps her arms around his waist.

"Jon doesn't love me anymore. That’s right, he's a dragon... but he's also a wolf. And the wolf in him doesn't want to love me anymore. I don't care if you're just a bear. You're so much more than that to me."

Daenerys kisses him tenderly.

"I don't regret anything," she says. "Nothing at all."

She lays her head on his chest and listens to his heartbeat. Jorah gently strokes her hair.

(It's too late for regrets anyway, isn't it?)

.

Daenerys is walking down the corridors with a dreamy smile on her lips. After these long months of icy loneliness, she finally feels loved, she feels the fire burning in her veins again.

_I am no longer alone._

Jorah loves her, she has known this for years, his love was like a distant star, the flickering flame of a candle.

The faint glow turned into a sparkling comet.

She comes out of the castle and approaches Drogon, he lets out a roar, can he feel how happy she is?

_I am no longer alone._

"Everything will be all right, Drogon," she says, eyes shining. 

Sansa bent the knee. The Unsullied control the Seven Kingdoms and the harbors. Calm will return soon, they won't need to be violent anymore. Her subjects will soon realize they have no reason to leave.

If all goes well, she will have an heir soon.

_I am no longer alone. I will never be alone again._

An heir. A child. The promise of a bright and thriving reign.

"My reign will be splendid."

She looks up at the sun and smiles.

.

(Nothing can stop her - not even ice.)

.

Daenerys summons him to her room again the next night. And the next. And all the following ones.

Several times Jorah thinks he'll find the strength to give up, to tell her that he's sorry but he can't do that to Jon, he can't be the father of her child, he doesn't want her to give birth to a bastard whose legitimacy could be questioned, he thinks he'll be strong enough but he's not, it's the same thing every time, he feels that the day he stops kissing her, ice will consume him entirely.

Jon is not an idiot, of course. He's seen Daenerys's dreamy smile, her determined look, the way she rubs her belly hopefully.

One night, Jorah is about to join her when he comes out of the shadows.

The two of them look at each other silently for long seconds, and Jorah thinks that it's over for him, that Jon is going to stab him with Longclaw for seducing his wife in front of him, for stealing something that was never his, should never have been his. He's tempted to close his eyes, to ask him to do it quickly but Jon doesn't have his sword with him, he doesn't even seem angry.

"I'm sorry," Jorah manages to say.

Should he say something in his defense? But how could he when he has no excuse, none other than his unconditional love for Daenerys?

Jon steps forward, disillusioned.

"It looks like she'll get her dynasty. Her heir," he says.

He doesn't answer. Jon laughs bitterly.

"You really love her, don't you?"

(Why does Jorah feel that this is wrong, that he should feel guilty? Because Daenerys is a murderer?)

"Yes," he admits. "More than I've ever loved anyone before her."

Jon nods slowly. And he turns away.

"I see."

He starts to walk away, then he freezes, as if he had forgotten something.

"Maybe you can give her what I can't. Maybe your love will be enough to extinguish this blaze of madness."

He disappears into the shadows, like a wolf howling at the moon.

.

(Jorah has won, he's the one sharing Daenerys’s bed, now the bear has triumphed over the lion and the dragon, so why does he also feel like he's lost?)

.

"You made the right choice, Dany."

Viserys nods approvingly.

"A bear isn't a dragon, but it's still better than a wolf. He won't be tempted to run back to his pack at the first opportunity."

Daenerys doesn't answer, looks away, her brother is annoying, why does he persist in poisoning her mind? She's doing just fine without him.

"It's only a matter of a few months," Viserys continues. "You'll be pregnant soon. It's your destiny. And then, if the bear has second thoughts or becomes a problem, you can get rid of him easily, and no one will miss him."

"I would never hurt him! " she replies, horrified. "Jorah means a lot to me. He loves me. He'll always be loyal to me, I know that."

"What man would allow his child to be raised by another? He'll get you in trouble, he'll get jealous. In the eyes of the world, your child will be a dragon. No one should ever suspect that he's half bear."

"You don't know him! He'd do anything for me. Anything."

He looks up at the sky.

"The wolf, the kraken, the lion, the bear... I wonder who'll end up killing you."

He disappears.

.

(No one will kill her. She will kill them first if they betray her - but not the bear, of course. The bear won't betray her.)

.

"It would appear that the Unsullied have been successful. No ships have been stolen for some time," Jon says.

He looks at her emotionlessly. He knows, he must know. Why doesn't he say anything? Why hasn't he screamed out his rage, jealousy and anger? Why does he talk to Jorah as if everything were normal, as if he didn't know that he shares his wife's bed every night?

(Part of her was hoping that he would get angry, that he would ask her for an explanation, she was hoping that he still loved her, just a little. She doesn't hope for anything now. That fire has definitely gone out.)

"Good, good," she replies.

Jon bows slightly, walks out of the room, leaving her alone with Jorah. Her subjects can't leave anymore. They will stay in Westeros, they will stay in the land of the dragon.

The explosion of triumph she expected to feel doesn't come.

"Your Grace? " Jorah said. "Is everything all right?"

During the day, he behaves as if nothing had changed between them, as if she was only his Queen and he was only her Hand. Daenerys would almost believe that she dreamed up his kisses and caresses.

"That's good news, isn't it? No one can leave anymore."

"Well... I suppose."

She gets up, crosses her hands behind her back, approaches the window and stares at the sea.

"This is not what I want."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want to hold them back by force."

Daenerys turns around.

"Why do you love me, Jorah?"

He seems to be taken aback by her question, his cheeks turn red. She smiles at him to encourage him.

"I love you for the fire burning within you, for your determination, for your dreams. I love you because you are a survivor, because you are fighting for what is right, for a better world. I love you for the way you smile, I love you for the way you laugh, I love you for those bells ringing in your hair. The world has changed, nothing is the same anymore, and I love you because you are my sun in the middle of this infinite fog."

She has tears in her eyes when he finishes talking. It's beautiful, what he's just said to her, so beautiful. It's what she's always wanted to hear without realizing it, it's probably the most beautiful thing anyone's ever said to her.

Daenerys smiles through her tears and gives him a long, passionate kiss. Who could surprise them anyway? Jon already knows, she has no enemies on this island, and even if she did, she's the Queen, she can do whatever she wants, the dragon doesn't concern herself with the opinion of the sheep.

"How do I make them love me, Jorah?" she asks, moving slightly apart, her arms still wrapped around him. "I want them to love me. I want them to see me the way you see me."

"I don't know," he admits. "But I'll help you. I'll do everything I can to make them love you."

Her heart is a fireball warming her from the inside.

Daenerys will never be cold again, she knows that.

She'll be all right.

.

("You're so naive, sister.")

.

Daenerys is flying on Drogon's back, for a moment she was tempted to go to King's Landing, to see if the ashes have disappeared, to see what the Red Keep looks like now, her home, she quickly changed her mind, she has to be sure that all signs of the battle are gone, that no one can guess that the fire has consumed the city with its deadly kiss.

"Soon it will be as if it never existed," she says to Drogon as he lands.

She looks north, where Winterfell is, where Sansa Stark, the she-wolf with icy eyes, is. Fire's deadly enemy.

Daenerys feels Viserys's presence behind her.

"The Northerners love her," she says.

"There's no doubt about it."

"How did she do it? "she asks, frowning. "How?"

"Easy," Viserys says. "She's beautiful. Fair. Gentle, but fierce. She doesn't seek power for herself, she wants to use it to help her people."

"I am fair, gentle and fierce too. I wish to help my people too."

That's strange. It seems that after all, she and Sansa are quite similar. That only makes her a little more upset.

"Why do they love her and fear me? I don't understand. Is it because I didn't grow up in Westeros? Because they see me as a stranger?"

"Partly. But not only."

 _You know the answer to that, Dany_ , he seems to tell her. _You know why_.

"Is it because of what I did in King's Landing?" she whispers. "But that's all in the past. Why does everyone care so much about the past?"

The past is like invisible chains, the past stands on the path to greatness and success.

"They know that Sansa Stark never burned down any city," Viserys says. "And how could she? She's only a wolf. You have the blood of the dragon, Dany. Stop seeking the love of your people. Choose fear. Wake the dragon. Go burn this frozen kingdom to the ground before the wolves eat you."

She closes her eyes, strokes Drogon's scales, imagines what it would be like to fly to the North, bringing them fire and blood, she thinks of Sansa's screams, of her icy rage, of her helplessness, she smiles slightly, it would be easy to make the wolves bend, there would be a new bell in her hair.

"Jon would never forgive me," she sighs.

(She sees the horror in his eyes, in Jorah's eyes, she shivers.)

"I didn't come here to be Queen of the ashes."

.

( _It's too late,_ a thousand ghosts scream around her, Viserys, Tyrion, Sansa, Jon, Barristan, Aerys, Jorah - she can no longer tell the dead and the living apart. _It's too late, far too late._ )

.

Jorah enters the library of the castle. Sam is there, sitting at a table, surrounded by a huge pile of books.

"Good morning, Sam."

He looks up, smiling.

" Good morning, Ser Jorah."

"I'm not disturbing you, am I?"

"You’re not."

Jorah sits opposite him. Sam's been quiet since he arrived at Dragonstine. When he's not with Gilly and their children, he stays in the library, as if he were hiding from Daenerys. He probably is, although no one will ever dare to admit it.

"How is Jeyne?" he asks.

"Oh, she's fine, thank you! Little Sam loves her, they're both really sweet. Nothing prevents you from coming to see her, you know."

"I know, I know..."

He begins to think about the nights he spends with Daenerys, about this heir she longs for, imagines what it would be like to take it in his arms, to see its smile, to hear its laugh.

(Another dream that will go up in smoke?)

"What are you working on?" he asks.

"These are geography books," Sam replies. "I'm studying maps."

"I see."

He opens a book about Essos, thinks about Braavos, he smiles, that's where he will take Daenerys, he made her a promise, together they will find the house with the red door.

"One day I'll go to Braavos and see the lemon trees," he says.

His smile dies, burned by Sam's puzzled look.

"In Braavos? Are you sure?"

"Why?"

"Well... there are no lemon trees in Braavos. They could never grow there."

Jorah stops breathing, feeling his heart twist.

"No lemon trees?"

Sam shakes his head.

"No lemon trees."

Jorah gets up and almost falls down.

"I see. Thank you, Sam."

_No lemon trees in Braavos. No lemon trees. No lemon trees._

.

"I could fly to Braavos. To the house with the red door and the lemon tree."

Viserys sighs.

"Come on, Dany. You know there's no house with the red door and no lemon tree."


	10. Chapter 10

Daenerys is a sun around which Jon and Jorah gravitate. They are like little stars that shine faintly and seem to go out when she appears.

How could they shade the sun?

They swore an oath. Perhaps they have doomed themselves in doing so, perhaps they will be unable to resist and will end up burned on her land of fire. And they won't do anything to stop it.

You don't say no to the sun. You don't say no to the dragon.

One night, Jorah sees Jon coming out of Daenerys’s bedchamber. He knows they weren't just talking, it makes him want to scream but he can't, of course. Jon is the King. Jon has the blood of the dragon. He's the one who should want to kill him.

"I'm the King," Jon says to him, looking down, almost disgusted. "I have to do my duty."

Jorah bows his head, clenches his fists, and smothers his despair.

"Of course."

Daenerys is waiting for him, sitting on her bed. She doesn't give him any explanation, why should she? A Queen doesn't justify herself, nor does a dragon.

(Her lips are still warm.)

.

"I thought you were done with the wolf," Viserys says.

"I never said that."

"How can you still let him touch you?"

"He's still my husband. He's still my family."

He bursts out laughing.

"He is weak."

"I am the Queen. I do as I please. I need an heir. I don't care who gives it to me."

(She is the Queen. Who would dare to stand in her way? Who would dare to stand against her and her destiny?)

.

At night, everything is different. The sun disappears. Only distant stars remain. The moon is cold, the moon is white as snow.

The sun is fire. The moon is ice. Daenerys made her choice a long time ago.

 _Moon of my life_. Drogo was wrong, of course, but how could he have known that?

She doesn't like sleeping. When she does, she's vulnerable. The comet doesn't glow in her dreams - in her nightmares.

It's always the same thing. She walks in the dark, her child in her arms. She's running from something. The stars aren't bright enough to light her way, she falls to her knees.

That's when she sees him. Drogon.

"Not my child, Drogon. Please, I beg you. He's just a baby. Please spare him."

That's when the bells start ringing. A voice screams in her head.

_Dracarys._

Then Drogon opens his mouth and Daenerys catches fire.

.

(She's never the Unburnt in his dreams.)

.

Daenerys doesn't wake up screaming. Jorah has no idea of the horrific visions haunting her mind. Sometimes she sheds a few tear silently.

"Why are you crying? " Viserys scoffs. "You weren't crying when you burned all those children."

She doesn't answer.

"Greatness comes with a price," he says. "History is written in blood."

He disappears.

"Blood..." she whispers.

The sun rises. She puts one hand on her belly.

She hasn't bled for several months.

.

(Darkness can do nothing against her. Ice can't do anything against her. History is written in fire.)

.

Daenerys wants this announcement to be special. Magnificent. She wants it to be remembered in the future as a defining moment.

She's sitting on her throne. It's not the Iron Throne, not yet, but it's no big deal. This will be known as the moment the dragon has decided to come home.

Everyone is kneeling before her - the Unsullied, Sam, Gilly, their children, Jon and Jorah. They look at her almost fearfully.

She smiles.

"I have great news for you."

She puts one hand on her belly.

"I'm carrying a child. The heir to House Targaryen. The blood of the dragon."

They don’t say a word. Jon and Jorah glace at each other. Her smile fades. Why don't they look happy?

"It's a sign," she continues. "A sign of destiny. The dragon's been exiled for too long. It's time for us to go home."

She gets up. The Red Keep is not completely rebuilt but it will do. It's enough for her. She's not meant to stay in Dragonstone forever. Her home awaits her, the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms.

She comes near Sam.

"Send a raven to every lord in the realm. Everyone should be celebrating with me."

"It will be done, Your Grace."

She looks at Jon and Jorah.

(Fire does not burn in their eyes.)

.

"You're confident, Dany," Viserys says as she enters her bedchamber.

"What do you mean?"

"You haven't been pregnant for very long, and now you tell the Seven Kingdoms..."

"Well?"

"You could lose it."

Daenerys bursts out laughing, as usual his brother underestimates her, he doesn't understand anything about destiny, that's why he died, he tried to attack her, the true blood of the dragon.

"This child is my destiny. I will not lose it."

Prophecies and curses are defeated. Her enemies are gone. The bells and the ashes will be forgotten. Nothing will stop her.

Nothing will stop them, she thinks as she strokes her belly.

.

Daenerys is with Drogon and whispers things to him that Jorah can't hear. He approaches her gently, head down.

"Hello, Jorah," she smiles. "How are you?"

"I’m fine, thank you... but I should be the one to ask you this question," he answers, taking a look at her belly.

"Oh, I'm fine."

She walks up to him and kisses him on the cheek.

"I'm so happy."

"That's great news. I'm very happy for you."

"Really?"

Her smile is sad.

"You don't seem to be, though."

The truth is, he doesn't know what to think of it. Will a child be enough to make people forget the massacre in King's Landing? Can this new life take away the glint of madness for good? Daenerys grabs his hand and brings it to her belly.

"This child is destined for great things," she whispers. "I know that."

(Destiny, always destiny. Did she think it was her destiny to burn an entire city with the flames of her madness?)

"Yes, Your Grace," he nods.

For the thousandth time, he nods. He will do so over and over again, until his neck snaps.

"You'll help me, won't you, Jorah? This child will need you. And I'm going to need you."

"Of course."

He kisses her hand.

"I'll never let you down."

His lips are as warm as her own. When they kiss, it's like a volcanic eruption.

.

(Could the volcano ever go out?)

.

Daenerys is looking at the sea, boats are already heading towards the capital, it's time for the departure after almost a year away from the Iron Throne, away from her home. She shivers with excitement, puts a hand on her belly, closes her eyes and imagines that the sea is on fire, an ocean of flames, but not destructive and deadly flames, no - certainly not this kind of flames.

Jon is already gone, only she and Jorah are left on the island.

"Aren't you sad to leave?" he asks.

"I'm not. I'm going home."

She thinks of the lemon tree, and then she shakes her head. It's not about that home, not yet... one day, one day she'll see the red door again...

She grabs Jorah's hand and approaches Drogon.

"Let's go."

He stops, backing off.

"Don't be afraid," she says, smiling at him.

"I'm not afraid, but isn't that inappropriate? I am not your King."

"I am the Queen. I do as I please."

It feels good to say it out loud. _I am the Queen_. Only four words, four words for infinite power, a great destiny. Daenerys is the Queen, and she will take whoever she wants on the back of her dragon.

("It's not like there's anyone left to see you in King's Landing," Viserys laughs.)

She feels safe when Jorah wraps his arms around her waist, she feels free when Drogon flies away, she feels happy, relaxed, she feels like she could conquer the world in an instant, make the tyrants bend, free the slaves, she's like a comet, she really becomes the Dragon Queen.

"Is everything all right?" she asks Jorah, looking behind her.

"Everything is all right," he answers.

She sees that he is not as comfortable as she is, it's quite normal, Jorah is a bear, he has no wings, he's not used to flying. He's a fallen star. Daenerys will help him return to the sky.

She thinks of King's Landing, the colorful streets, the cheering, the delicious smell of lemon, the gardens of the Red Keep, she starts to smile, the ashes are gone, all these things are waiting for her, her reign will truly begin.

When Drogon lands in front of the Keep, she has the illusion that everything is back to normal. The ashes and the smell of burning are gone.

And then the illusion shatters along with her daydreams. The traces of destruction are still visible. Everything is far from being rebuilt.

All she hears is silence, barely broken by the noise the workers make.

Jorah looks at her worriedly.

"Your Grace?"

She looks down at her still flat belly. The memory of the massacre still lingers in the air. Is this really what her child will see? Or will it all be rebuilt when it is old enough to understand?

"I'm fine," she says, determined. "Let's go. My throne awaits me."

(His dreams come true. She must not have any doubts. She must not look back.)

.

She's alone when she sits on the Iron Throne.

She keeps repeating to herself that this is not true, that her Unsullied are everywhere in the Keep, that Jon and Jorah are not far from her, that she is the Queen, and that a Queen is never alone.

_I'm not alone. I'll never be alone again._

Yet no matter how many times she repeats this mantra in her head, she can never believe it.

"This is where Father died," Viserys says. "This is where Jaime Lannister put his sword through him. A member of the Kingsguard. Someone he trusted. You see all these shadows, Dany? They're your enemies. And they're coming after you."

"You're lying," she replies. "This is my home. I'm safe here."

He sighs.

"When have you ever been safe? You're carrying a child. Your enemies will think you're vulnerable. They won't hesitate to get rid of you, get rid of both of you."

He sneaks up behind her.

"Choose fear, Dany. Wake the dragon. Wake the dragon before it's too late."

.

Daenerys doesn't take long to choose which room will become hers.

As she did a year earlier, she enters what was once Cersei Lannister's lair, the lion's den.

"You've lost," she says aloud. "You've lost, and I've won. I am the Queen. And where are you now?"

She walks around the room, something she didn't do the first time. She looks at the lioness's jewelry box, opens it without really knowing what to expect.

A strange feeling overwhelms her when she discovers the crown of her fallen enemy. She grasps it delicately, looks at it like she has just found a treasure, thinks of the crown on her head.

The dragon has defeated the lioness. All that remains of her is a piece of metal, a remnant, the memory of a reign that will soon be forgotten.

"I've won," Daenerys repeats.

She puts the crown on the desk. What should she do with it? Get rid of it? No, that would be too simple. She'll keep it as a war trophy, a symbol of her victory.

Jorah doesn't come to her that night. Why should he? She got what she wanted, an heir, but she misses his caresses and kisses and his love.

She falls asleep with a heavy heart.

The child in her dreams seems more real, she takes him in her arms, strokes his hair, he smells good, it's the scent of childhood and innocence, it used to be her scent back in the days of the house with the red door.

"My son," she smiles. "My heir. My destiny."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that."

She jumps. Cersei Lannister stands in front of her. She's holding a little blond boy by the hand. Daenerys cannot take her eyes off the crown on her head.

"I'm alive," she warns. "And I have an heir. I will return. I'll come back and get what's mine."

"No. The Iron Throne is mine. I have defeated you."

Cersei bursts out laughing.

"I'm a lioness, my dear. A lioness never gives up."

Daenerys wakes up and tries to calm down - it was a bad dream, nothing but a bad dream.

She almost screams when she sees the man sitting on her bed.

"You didn't think you'd get rid of us that easily, did you?" Tyrion laughs.

.

("We'll be back. We won't stay hidden forever. We're planning our revenge. The lions will return, stronger than ever.")

.

"Jon!"

Daenerys catches up with him as he prepares to leave the castle.

"Yes?"

His voice is as cold as usual, the child hasn't changed a thing between them and it's very despairing.

"The last of the Lannisters. Where are they?"

He looks puzzled.

"The last Lannisters. Tyrion and Cersei's family. The family of my enemies. Where are they?"

"At Lannisport, under close guard. It's one of the first things you ordered after... after the battle. Don't you remember?"

(The lions are kept on a leash by the Unsullied. Everything is all right. Cersei and Tyrion won't be able to count on them to overthrow her. It's all right.)

"I do... thank you, Jon."

He's the wolf, yet right now she feels like she's made of ice.

.

Jorah and Jon watch Daenerys walking through the gardens, some of the trees have started to grow back, she looks rather happy, yet Jorah can't help but see the glimmer of disappointment in her eyes. He knows what she's looking for - what she's looking for and won't find.

"Who do you think the father is?" Jon asks.

He imagines who the child might look like, whether it will ever be possible to find out.

"I don't know," he admits. "Does it matter?"

Not to Daenerys, anyway, he knows that, she doesn't care if her child will be a wolf or a bear, she only cares about the blood of the dragon, her blood.

"No," Jon answers. "It doesn't matter."

Not to Daenerys, and not to them either, if that uncertainty never fades they will spend their lives doubting, but they will love it as their own child, Jon is too honorable to give up on it and Jorah loves Daenerys too much for that.

The Queen walks towards them, Jon rushes away but she doesn't even seem to notice.

"There's no lemon tree," she says, looking lost. "I've looked everywhere, but there isn't one."

She puts both hands on her belly.

"I want my child to see the lemon trees. The ones in Braavos. The one in the garden of the house with the red door."

Jorah closes his eyes, then he smiles before he does something stupid like bursting into tears. Sam's words are as sharp as daggers.

_There are no lemon trees in Braavos._

"We'll go," he tells her. "We’ll go…"

.

"Oh, Dany, I told you. There's no house with the red door. It doesn't exist," Viserys repeats.

"You're lying."

"Don't you remember? It was one of your favorite games when you were little. We didn't have a home, so you would make one up. You liked red so much. One day a woman took pity on us and gave us lemon cakes. That's how your house with the red door was born. It only ever existed in your fantasy."

"You're lying! I remember it very well... every morning I opened my window and I could see the lemon tree... I picked lemons... it exists, I remember..."

He gives her a pitiful look.

"I'm really sorry for you..."

.

(She's not mad, she doesn't mistake dreams for reality. The house with the red door and the lemon tree exists, and she will take her child there.)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to post this chapter, this story is entirely written in French but I'm currently writing the third part of this series, which is taking up a lot of my time (24 chapters for now and it's far from being finished), I hope it will be worth the wait!

Daenerys sees her belly swelling, she is amazed, remembers her first pregnancy years ago, she was barely sixteen she and already knew that a great destiny awaited her. She wanted so many things for Rhaego, she wanted a great khalasar, the Seven Kingdoms, the Iron Throne.

Other visions come back to her. Mirri Maz Duur. A strange ritual. A stillborn baby. A pillow over Drogo's face.

She was tricked once. She has to make sure it never happens again. No one will stop her child from coming into the world, opening its eyes, flying over the world on Drogon's back.

Tyrion's watchful eyes never leave her.

"It will die," he predicts.

She turns away, looks for Viserys, doesn't find him. Where is he when she needs him? She shouldn't be surprised, though, it's not the first time her brother has abandoned her like this.

"What do you know about it? "she answers.

Tyrion removes his Hand of the Queen pin, plays with it, a mocking grin on his lips.

"Someone will kill it, and there's nothing you can do to save him."

"I don't believe you! You can't reach me, you can't even get near King's Landing."

He bursts out laughing.

"Do you think I’m talking about me? It's true, Cersei and I have talked at length about how we plan to get rid of you and your bastard... but I'm afraid we won't get the chance," he sighs. "You're surrounded by your enemies, Your Grace, and the worst part of it is that you don't even realize it."

After a mocking bow, he disappears. Daenerys puts her hands on her belly, determined.

"Do not worry. I won't let anyone hurt you. I'll kill the first one who tries to hurt you. You will live, my child, you will live."

.

(Her dreams come true, then her child will live - it can't be otherwise.)

.

Viserys comes to see her later.

"He's right, you know."

"Who?"

"Tyrion Lannister. You're surrounded by your enemies."

She frowns.

"You're lying. You both let me down. Why should I believe you?"

"Well, to stay alive," Viserys replies as if it were obvious.

.

When the night comes, Daenerys wanders the dark corridors of the Red Keep. Along the way, she meets shadows and ghosts.

Rhaegar runs after his children Aegon and Rhaenys, wondering if he should take them with him the day he leaves to meet Lyanna Stark. Barristan Selmy walks with determination, sword in hand, and advises her to always be careful. Viserys touches Rhaella's swollen belly and asks if he will have a little brother or sister. Cersei steals a kiss from Jaime. Tyrion tells a story to Tommen and Myrcella. Sansa has stolen some lemon cakes and reminds her that no one must know about it.

Daenerys freezes when she sees another ghost with purple eyes. The bells in her silver hair are all cracked and ring out wrong.

The other Daenerys is holding a faceless child by the hand. He is covered in ashes.

"Careful," she says, looking around her. "Ghosts are everywhere."

Ghosts fade away.

Daenerys slides against the wall and starts to shake.

.

(Her enemies are like ghosts. They're everywhere. They'll devour her.)

.

"Your Grace?"

Jorah falls to his knees next to Daenerys, sitting on the floor and shivering.

"Your Grace, what's going on?"

"Ghosts, Jorah. I can see the ghosts of the Red Keep."

He looks around, eyes narrowing. Nothing disturbs the calm of the night, nothing - especially not ghosts.

"They're like my enemies, Jorah. They're everywhere, I can see them, I can feel them around me, they look at my belly... my child is in danger."

She grabs his arm and squeezes it tight, so tight that she almost hurts him, he wants to say something, anything, anything to reassure her but he can't.

(How do you fight madness?)

"You're exhausted, Your Grace. You must have fallen asleep and had a bad dream."

(That must be it. She's not mad, she's not mad, she's not mad.)

He helps her up. Her legs are shaking, he wraps an arm around her waist so she doesn't fall down.

"Come on. I'll take you back to your bedchamber."

.

Jorah doesn't believe her.

When she lies down on her bed, they come back. Ghosts. They come back and they smile mockingly at her. As soon as he's gone, they'll attack her, she knows they will.

("Why would he believe you? " Viserys asks. "He doesn't see things that don't exist.")

"Stay, Jorah," she begs as Tyrion plays with a crossbow, Jaime sharpens his sword and Cersei holds a jar of wild fire. "Please stay. I don't want to be alone tonight."

"Your Grace... I'm not sure that-"

"Stay, I beg you."

Her eyes get wet, she can't hold back her tears and she starts crying. He gives in as soon as he sees them rolling down her cheeks.

"All right, I'll stay with you."

She nods. He crawls into bed and she presses herself against his warm body. He wraps his reassuring arms around her.

_I am safe. There's nothing you can do to me. Jorah will protect me._

Daenerys closes her eyes and doesn't dare to check if the ghosts are gone.

.

She needs to get away from the Red Keep, just for a few hours. She needs to fly away from the ghosts that keep tormenting her.

"You can't escape us," Tyrion laughs. "Wherever you go, we'll find you."

Daenerys ignores him and goes looking for Jon. He’s only the king by name. He is not interested in governing, he does so only out of obligation and spends most of his days helping rebuild the Keep and the city.

She finds him in the courtyard and walks towards him.

"I'd like us to go to the Stormlands."

"What? Why?"

"I want to see my people. I've been separated from them for far too long."

All these people must forget the stories they have been told about the destruction of the capital, they must see her as their rightful Queen, as their savior.

"I would like you to come with me. You are my King. Their King. They need to see us together. The last of the dragons."

He doesn’t refuse, of course. He never does.

"As you wish."

She casts a triumphant glance at Tyrion.

( _See? I'm going to meet my people. I freed them from your sister. They can only love me._ )

.

"Have you already forgotten all those riots, Dany? The exodus to Essos? What the Unsullied had to do to restore order?"

"That's all in the past. Peace is back. They'll love me, just like all those slaves I freed."

.

Jon doesn't hold her as tight as Jorah does, he holds on to her just so he doesn't fall over, she tells herself that it's better than nothing, that it's still something.

She thinks about her child, wonders if it's a girl or a boy. In her dreams she always sees a boy, maybe because they are more legitimate to inherit the Throne, but that's ridiculous, after all, she is a woman, and she is the Queen. Jon is only king because she has decided so.

"Have you ever thought about having children?" she asks.

"No, not really," Jon replies.

"You don't seem very happy..."

He sighs.

"Does it matter to you?"

"Of course. I still care about you, Jon."

He doesn't answer. Daenerys decides not to insist, what's the point of trying to rekindle a flame that wanted to die?

Drogon lands not far from Storm's End. Some peasants flee when they see this dragon coming straight from their nightmares. Others are too terrified to make the slightest move. Daenerys walks towards them and they immediately lower their heads.

They're trembling.

"You have nothing to fear," she says softly. "I mean you no harm."

Two children who are more reckless than the others escape their mother's vigilance and approach her, eyes widening.

"Are you the Queen? " the older one asks, the little boy.

"Yes. I am Daenerys Targaryen, and this is my husband, Aegon."

The little girl takes a look at Drogon.

"Did you come here to burn us?"

Daenerys shakes her head, makes herself smile.

"No. I told you, I mean you no harm."

"Everyone says you burned down the capital."

She opens her mouth to reply, no words come out, her heart starts beating faster, what can she say? What can she say? Jon keeps his head down, he won't help her.

What can she say?

"Good luck with that, Dany," Viserys laughs. "They know what you've done. What you are. And they won't forget it."

The wind is blowing, the bells in her hair are ringing. She feels as if ashes are being poured on her skin, covering her completely, burning her.

"The former Queen was a tyrant. I punish those who deserve it," she finally says.

The little children look at her with puzzled eyes, and she realizes that despite their apparent bravery, they’re afraid of her. They bow awkwardly and run away. Her other subjects look at her fearfully, they seem to be waiting for her to leave and take the bells and the unbearable smell of burning with her.

"A tyrant? " Tyrion says. "You're far worse than Cersei. She never burned down an entire city."

"What did you expect, Dany?" Viserys asks.

Daenerys steps back, out of the corner of her eye she sees the ghosts coming back, she grabs Jon by the arm.

"Let's get out of here. There's nothing for us here."

No one applauds, no one chants her name. She gets scared, imagines someone hiding a dagger, imagines someone stabbing her in the stomach, killing her child, she's vulnerable, she has to go home, somewhere safe.

.

(It's all right. When the child is born, they will love it. They will love them both.)

.

Jorah is in the courtyard of the Red Keep when Drogon lands. He must understand that things didn't go as planned when he sees her face, she doesn't smile, so he doesn't ask any questions.

Tyrion points his crossbow at her belly.

"Jorah," she says. "Call back the Unsullied who are in the Reach. I want them to guard the capital."

He seems surprised.

"Really? Why is that?"

"I don't feel safe," she says a little too dryly. "My enemies are everywhere. They want to hurt me. They want to hurt my child. I have to protect it."

Jorah lowers his head.

"It will be done, Your Grace."

She walks away with peace of mind.

(A home is a place where you feel safe, like the house with the red door. As long as she stays here, no one will be able to reach her.)

.

Jorah watches Daenerys's belly swell, increasingly worried as the months go by.

He once thought that her pregnancy would make her feel better, softer, that the better part of her would take over the worse part.

He was wrong.

Daenerys becomes paranoid, Daenerys sees things that don't exist, Daenerys talks to ghosts and is suspicious of imaginary enemies, Daenerys has nightmares every night and he can only try to reassure her, helpless.

"I’m so glad you're here, Jorah," she says to him one night. "Only you are truly faithful to me, only you will never betray me."

"Jon is loyal to you, Your Grace. So is Yara Greyjoy and all the other lords. They bent the knee, remember?"

She blinks, as if she could no longer tell her dreams from reality.

"But for how long?"

He doesn't respond and puts one hand on her belly to feel the baby move.

( _So, you still think she's not mad?_ a little voice whispers in her mind.)

.

Daenerys is more interested in fancy threats than in governing of the realm. Jorah doesn't dare tell her that withdrawing all her troops from the Reach is probably a bad idea, he doesn't dare tell her that some lords might be tempted to take advantage of it.

(The wolves are still lurking.)

With a bit of luck, everything will be all right when the child is born. A new era. He tries to convince himself of this every night as he joins Daenerys in her bedchamber, as she lays her lips on his, as they become one.

"Would you prefer a girl or a boy?" she asks him.

"A girl," he replies automatically. "A girl who is as beautiful as you are."

She smiles and kisses him on the cheek.

"You're so sweet, Jorah."

Her eyes darken and she buries her face in his neck, and then she doesn't say another word.

(What ghost did she see this time?)

.

Daenerys no longer tries to avoid Tyrion, he follows her wherever she goes, so she tries to ignore him as best she can, she flees from loneliness so that she doesn’t hear his treacherous voice screaming in her head.

Little Jeyne grows up fast, she spends a lot of time with Gilly, she doesn't talk much but at least she doesn't give her accusing looks, she doesn't stare at her as if she were planning to kill her.

"Your children are adorable," she sighs one day as she is rocking Jeyne. "You're lucky."

She frowns.

"Do you think I'll be a good mother?"

"Of course, Your Grace. Sam and Jeyne are very fond of you. You're good with children."

"Do you mean it?"

Gilly nods. Tyrion bursts out laughing.

"So good that you burned hundreds and hundreds of them."

(Flames. Little burnt bodies. Little ghosts screaming and pointing at her.)

She gives Jeyne back to Gilly, confused.

.

"Do you feel guilty?" Viserys asks. "All those poor innocent children... what would you have thought if it were your own child who had burned to death?"

She rubs her swollen belly.

"I can't feel guilty. If I look back, I am lost."

 _(If I look back,_ it _is lost_.)


	12. Chapter 12

Daenerys is sinking in an ocean with no light, no warmth, no hope. She waves her arms but it's useless, she will never be able to come to the surface again - it's colder than snow, it's hotter than ice.

The ghosts watch her sink without reacting. They smile. They have brought her to her doom, at last, after all this time. The dragon is drowning. The fire is going out.

"Help me," she tries to say.

No sound comes out of her mouth.

A horrible pain pierces her belly and she feels her last breath of life leave her.

When Daenerys opens her eyes, the pain is still here. She moans as she touches her swollen belly.

"Jorah," she says

He sits up straight away - was he really sleeping?

"The baby," she moans. "The baby..."

She feels as if a hand has slipped into her and is tearing her apart, as if she is being burned from the inside, as if the blood of the dragon is boiling and destroying everything in its way.

(Oh, she never expected it to hurt so much.)

Jorah reacts immediately, he gets up and goes out into the corridor, Daenerys lays her head on the pillow and stares at the ceiling, clenching her teeth. Through the tears clouding her eyes, she manages to smile.

Her destiny is on its way.

.

Jorah runs through the corridors, he's barely aware of where he is going, he moves in the fog, fear has crept into him, fear has almost paralyzed him but his sun is too bright for him to abandon her.

_What if Daenerys doesn't survive?_

His heart pounds in his chest, he hesitates. Sam or Jon? The Maester or the King? He doesn't know, stands there for long seconds, fear returns, pins him down.

_What if Daenerys doesn't survive?_

Maybe she's about to meet the same fate as her mother, maybe the fire of life will be extinguished in her eyes as it was extinguished in Rhaella's all those years ago, maybe dragons are destined to die.

The worst part of him, the one that sees the glint of madness in her purple eyes, the one that hears the bells and remembers the smell of burning, whispers to him to do nothing, to abandon her to the ghosts that haunt her, to let her burn with pain, to do Westeros a favor and leave her alone.

He's never listened to it, of course. Why would he start today?

He leans against a wall. And he counts.

One.

_I'm going to make this world a better place._

Two...

_I want my people to love me._

Three.

_I will overthrow all the tyrants and free the slaves._

Four.

_You will be my Hand, won't you, Jorah?_

Five.

_I trust you._

The fear goes away.

Jorah starts running again.

.

(He's about to become a father - at this moment, in his mind, this child must be his, it cannot be Jon's.)

.

How long has it been? A few minutes? A few hours? He doesn't know, he doesn't know anymore.

When Jorah enters the room with Sam and Jon, a long scream breaks the silence. He rushes over to Daenerys's side.

"Sam is here, Your Grace," he tells her. "Everything will be all right, I promise you."

"I... I'm in pain, Jorah, so much pain."

He feels like crying, he never could bear to see her suffer, he kneels down and takes her hand, kissing it.

"Stay with me," she asks. "Don't let me down. Don't abandon me too..."

"Never," he promises.

Talking distracts her, she smiles briefly and then her smile turns into a grimace again.

"I'm here," he repeats. "I'm here."

If he wasn't so scared he'd feel sorry for Jon, the King stands in a corner of the room and seems not to know what to do, as if he were just an intruder. Finally he approaches the bed and grabs Daenerys's other hand.

She looks surprised and lost, and then her face splits into a smile.

Jorah gives Jon a little nod.

Their Queen shouldn't be alone today.

.

Daenerys thought that dragons couldn't know what pain really is, pain is like fire, and dragons are not afraid of fire, are they?

Maybe this fire is different, it is the fire of fate, the fire of life, dreams will be born from the ashes of this blaze, even the sun must suffer to escape the darkness of the night when it rises.

She can no longer see Jon, Jorah and Sam around her - she only sees ghosts.

(How will she be able to escape this time?)

Daenerys realizes that these are not the ghosts she usually sees, they are not Viserys, Tyrion or Cersei. She has never met them but she knows immediately who they are, the knowledge is written in her blood.

She's not the only dragon that's been through this.

Visenya and Rhaenys, the sisters of Aegon the Conqueror, are cheering her on. Alysanne, the wife of King Jaehaerys, strokes her hair.

"I've had fourteen children," she says. "The pain was terrible, but I overcame it. You can do this."

She feels like crying when she recognizes the last woman.

"I'm here, my daughter," Rhaella whispers. "I'm here."

"Mother," she says. "Mother..."

They're right, they all share the blood of the dragon, their destiny was to give birth, to give life, to pass on their heritage of fire and blood.

She can't give up, not now.

She can do this.

She _will_ do this.

.

"Mother... Mother..." Daenerys whispers, eyes wide open. Jorah watches her staring at this ghost she's the only one to see, helpless, she doesn't seem to be aware of his presence anymore, there is nothing he can do to help her.

She squeezes his hand tightly, he feels like he's holding on to her and not the other way round, as if he was trying to hold her back, to prevent her from getting lost in the middle of the ghosts.

(But isn't it already too late?)

.

Nothing can stop the dragon.

That's what Daenerys thinks when other screams than her own tear the silence apart, when she finally hears that beautiful sound she's been dreaming of so much.

(The child - hope.)

"It's a boy, Your Grace," Sam says, she's exhausted but she sees him give him to Jon, a miracle happens, he smiles, he really smiles, she's thrilled, she knew that an heir was the answer to their problems.

"It’s not over, Your Grace. There's another one coming."

"Another one?" Jorah says, frowning.

Sam nods and the pain pierces Daenerys again but she barely feels it. Is this a new dream? Or is it as real as the ghosts of her ancestors who support and encourage her?

_Twins._

It's a new sign of destiny. Twins. A new miracle, something she never dared to imagine. Prophecies, witches and curses are about to disappear. Her future is written in fire, nothing can stop her, she will burn her enemies, she will destroy them, they are like the ashes of King's Landing, no one will remember them.

Rhaella keeps smiling at her.

"You are destined for great things, Dany. I'm so proud of you."

So Daenerys pushes and pushes until a second little dragon comes and joins the first one, until the cries of hope become even louder.

"It's a girl. You did it," Jorah says, kissing her forehead, he cries and laughs at the same time, she has rarely seen him so happy, so euphoric, she can only smile back, of course she did it, it was her destiny.

"Give them to me," she asks.

She feels warm when her two children are placed in her arms, her two little dragons, her dreams come true, what she feels can't be explained, she feels like she's flying higher than any creature, higher than the clouds, higher than the stars, she will go where no one has ever gone before, she will be extraordinary, and they will be extraordinary as well.

"My children," she whispers, tears in her eyes.

Twins.

Daenerys quickly chooses their names.

(A dream can only bear the name of another dream, right?)

She turns to Jon.

"Do you want to hold him?"

"Really?"

"Of course."

He smiles shyly, she gives him the little boy.

"Duncan," she says.

Jon nods, he seems to like the name, it's one of their ancestors, after all, it's a name worthy of a future king, he looks a bit clumsy, she's amused. Daenerys turns to Jorah, hands him the little girl, he takes her gently.

"Jaenerya," she answers his silent question.

He frowns, he's never heard that name before.

"My little Jenny," she adds, smiling at him, his eyes light up and he smiles back, he understands, out of the corner of her eye Daenerys can see Duncan Targaryen dancing with Jenny of Oldstones.

"Those are beautiful names," Jorah whispers.

She has time to nod before falling asleep.

When she closes her eyes, she wonders if two comets have just crossed the sky.

.

Her enemies weren't going to leave her alone forever, of course.

Cersei and her son appear before her. The lioness's smile is cruel, she stares at her with an evil gaze.

"I'll be back," she warns. "The Iron Throne will never be entirely yours. None of your children will sit on it. It is my son who will be king."

Tyrion comes out of the shadows and stands beside his sister. The one he betrayed her for, the one he abandoned her for. His true queen.

"You know we're alive," he said. "You know we have a Lannister heir. You know we want revenge."

He approaches her, she's paralyzed.

"We will kill you," he says quietly. "You and your children."

They're threatening the dragon, how dare they? How dare they look her in the eye, they who are nothing but clawless lions?

("Wake the dragon," Viserys whispers.)

"I will find you," she warns. "I will find you again and I will kill all three of you."

She turns away and runs.

.

Jorah watches the babies sleep in their cradle, a slight smile on his lips. He feels that he will never get tired of watching them, he feels like he needs to protect them from the cruelty of this world, as long as he is there nothing will happen to them.

A question haunts his mind.

_Are they mine?_

They are still too small, he cannot know, not yet, he will wait, he is used to waiting.

( _Do you really want to know, Jorah?_ )

Daenerys wakes up trembling, she’s still weak but she gets up and rushes to the cradle, her legs betray her, she almost collapses, he catches her before she falls.

"My children," she panics.

"They are well, Your Grace. Calm down! Look, they’re sleeping."

She leans over the crib, frowning, sighs with relief.

"I've had a horrible nightmare, Jorah," she sobs, her tears are water but they are as hot as flames, he holds her tight, a fragile shield against the ghosts and shadows of her mind.

Daenerys looks up at him, he can see fear, anger, and that little something he can no longer ignore.

"I saw Cersei and Tyrion," she says, her voice trembling. "They warned me they'd come back. They'll come back, Jorah, I know they will, and they'll kill my children. They told me so."

"Calm down," he repeats. "You're safe. If they're alive, they'll never dare come near you."

"They want revenge... they want to kill them and they will..." she mumbles without listening to him, she looks at him but she doesn't see him, her mind is miles and miles away from here, where he can't follow.

"All will be well," he repeats, stroking her silver hair.

(How long has he been a liar?)

.

Jon comes to see her later, sits on the edge of her bed, those brief moments of happiness that brought them together a few hours earlier have disappeared, they were as ephemeral as a flame, were they even real?

"How are you?" he asks.

"I'm fine, thank you."

Viserys is leaning over the cradle, letting out a mocking laughter.

"He's disappointed, Dany. He was hoping you'd die."

She tries to ignore him but fails. She starts shivering. What if he's plotting to overthrow her? Has he formed a secret alliance with Sansa, the bloody she-wolf who dreams of bathing in the blood of the dragon?

_Stop it, Daenerys. It's Jon. He swore an oath, he'll never break it. He has too much honor for that._

"Twins," she says, making herself smile. "It's a sign. An omen."

"A sign?"

He seems confused, Daenerys knows that he doesn't care about all these stories of destiny, he has never understood them, he probably doesn't believe in them at all.

"Our reign will be long and prosperous, Jon. Twins. We won't be weakened by joining our house with another. We'll marry them together to carry on the tradition."

The blood of the dragon will not be stained, it will remain pure, strong, blazing. Viserys bursts out laughing.

"What a hypocrite you are, Dany! The blood of the dragon is already stained. These children may be half-bear. Or half-wolf."

_You don't understand anything. Only my blood matters._

"Marry them together?"

Jon doesn't seem to be thrilled by this prospect, perhaps because incest disgusts him, she's sure she'll be able to convince him. He'll see that she's right, that it's the best solution. Then, she thinks of two other incestuous twins. Cersei and Jaime appear and kiss before her eyes. She lowers her head in disgust. Dragons are exceptional creatures, what gave the lions the right to imitate them?

.

( _Your story will be written in fire and blood, my children. Exactly like mine._ )

.

Jorah is sitting on Daenerys's bed, Jaenerya has fallen asleep in his arms, he touches her cheek with his fingertips, strokes her silver hair, waits for her to open her eyes so he can get lost in a purple sea.

The twins look like their mother. He sees nothing of him in them, and nothing of Jon either.

(He will never know. The truth will remain hidden in the dragon's shadow forever.)

Daenerys, carrying Duncan, sits beside him. She can easily guess the questions that pop into his head.

"Does it bother you that you don't know?"

He wonders if history books will mention him, if they will tell how much he loved his queen and her children, is not delusional. Duncan and Jaenerya Targaryen, the children of Daenerys and Aegon, the blood of the dragon. No one will ever know of his doubts, of this uncertainty, they will disappear, swept away by the whirlwind of time. They won't matter.

"No," he replies. "It makes no difference to me."

She smiles at him, puts her head on his shoulder.

"I can't wait to go back to Braavos. I'd like to show them the house with the red door and the lemon tree."

He watches her lose herself in her false memories, her imagination, her fantasized childhood.

Jorah nods.

Later, when only the stars and the moon are watching him, he screams in rage and begins to cry.

.

(Missing a home that never existed - it's so tragic.)

.

A week later, Jorah takes Daenerys into the gardens and before her amazed eyes, he plants a lemon tree.

_You're really home now._


	13. Chapter 13

Jorah likes looking Duncan and Jaenerya in the eye.

It's almost strange, it's like looking back, looking at the past, looking into Daenerys's eyes, he counts the stars shining in them and he can already see the glint of determination in this purple, lavender and lilac ocean, when the twins laugh the stars start to shine so he starts laughing with them, and later he cries as he thinks of this lost time.

Sometimes when Daenerys talks to him, when she stands on tiptoes and kisses him on the cheek, when she wraps her arms around his waist and hugs him, he closes his eyes and he can almost believe that nothing has changed. They're back at Dragonstone. Missandei and Grey Worm kiss each other and they become more and more passionate. Jon and Tyrion are discussing the best way to take the throne. Daenerys, who hums a song of ice and fire to Drogon, reminds them that she didn't come to Westeros to be Queen of the ashes.

And then Daenerys moves away from him, casts an unfriendly glance at the invisible ghosts and Jorah understands that he can't pretend forever that nothing is different.

"You're safe here," he says.

He'll tell her so over and over again, until he becomes mute.

"We have to protect the children," she responds, terrified. "Our children."

His heart spun in her chest the first time she described them that way, he rushed to their cradle, watched them again and again looking for the slightest sign, dark blond hair, blue eyes, he found nothing, it made him despair, a few days later he heard her talking to Jon, she said our children, so he turned around before starting to sob.

A month, six months, a year, the twins grow up fast, the flame of hope, that's what they are, unfortunately other things grow too, the lemon tree in the gardens of the Red Keep, the glint of madness in Daenerys's eyes, the discontent in the Seven Kingdoms, his own doubts and regrets.

He doesn't say any of this to Daenerys, he wants to protect her, to preserve her, he knows there is still something left to save and he will do so.

(He lies so often that his lies taste like the truth now).

.

Duncan and Jenny are in danger.

Every night Tyrion comes and bends over their crib with a crossbow in his hands, he hums _T_ _he Rains of Castamere_ and predicts the return of the golden lions. They are tired of living in exile and dream of tasting the flesh of the dragon. She casts him out by waving her arms and shouting death threats, sometimes he agrees to leave, sometimes he doesn't move and just stares at her mockingly.

"You should have killed him the day you met him," Viserys says. "What did he bring you, if not trouble?"

"He loved me," Daenerys replies in despair. "He loved me. Why does he torment me like that?"

"Oh, he loved you... and then he didn't love you anymore. He betrayed you."

(Who will be next?)

The lemon tree is growing but winter is still here. When will summer be here? When will the fiery sun come to light her way, the way of her children? When will the love of her people warm them?

At night, she dreams of her brief visit to Storm’s End, of how those children shivered, of all those people who bowed their heads and looked away.

How long has it been? A few months? A year? She doesn't know, doesn't know anymore, doesn't care, time goes by but nothing changes, she is not loved, the capital is still empty, nobody has come back to cheer her, to chant her name.

As long as people don't love her, her children will always be in danger. Love is the most powerful shield, love sets hearts on fire and melts the ice, her people must love her, love all three of them, then the ghosts will disappear and leave her in peace at last.

.

( _Love me. Love me. Love me._ It’s a haunting mantra.)

.

"We're going on a journey across the realm," Daenerys says.

Jorah looks into Jon's eyes. He sees in it the reflection of his own helplessness. He looks down, just for a few seconds, five seconds of despair, just like five seconds of fear, except that despair never quite leaves him.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"I want my people to see me," she answers as if it were obvious. "I want them to see Duncan and Jenny, their future king and queen. I want my children to be loved."

Daenerys hasn't left the Red Keep for more than a year, since that failed attempt at Storm’s End, she has spent her time picturing the ideal encounter in her mind, everything is clear to her now, everything is simple, all she has to do is make her dreams come true.

"The children are young," Jon says. "Too young for such a long journey."

But he knows his pleas will fall on deaf ears, Jorah is sure of it. The dragon cannot be stopped.

"They have the blood of the dragon," Daenerys replies. "My children are strong. And the world must see that strength."

Jon looks upset, understands that the children are only his when it suits Daenerys, he is reminded of his place, wolves have no wings, they are destined to watch the dragons fly away and follow them with their heads down.

"We'll leave tomorrow."

.

(Fear, love, love, fear, love, fear.)

.

"They're beautiful, aren't they?" Daenerys asks.

The twins sleep peacefully, she calms down a bit, they are safe here in the dragon's lair, it's up to her to make sure they are safe in the whole realm.

"They are," Jorah answers.

He's standing in the shadows, as if he didn't dare get too close for fear of getting burned.

"Where will we go?" he asks in a hesitant voice.

"Well... we'll start with the Stormlands."

He looks astonished, maybe he's thinking about what happened the last time she went there, she must erase this terrible memory, she must not look back.

"We'll go to Dorne... I'd like to see the lemon trees there. I wonder if they look like the ones in Braavos."

(Why does Jorah's eyes darken every time she talks about the lemon trees?)

"Then we'll visit Yara in the Iron Islands. Finally, we will go to the Westerlands."

Casterly Rock. The lions' den. Her smile is satisfied, she thinks of the look on Cersei's face if she saw her violate what used to be her home, wonders how Tyrion would react. She would like Jorah to stay, to talk to her about happy people and cheers, joy and love, yet he just bows his head and leaves.

"You will be loved, my children," she promises. "You will have the love that I did not have when I was a child."

.

"You didn't mention anything about going to the Riverlands. Or the Vale, for that matter. Especially not the North," Viserys says.

She doesn't answer, turns away angrily.

"Well, I guess you're right. That's certainly not where you'll get love. The she-wolf and her family have been spreading their poison in the minds of their people..."

"They're not their people!" she shouts with flames in her eyes.

Viserys smiles and disappears.

Duncan and Jenny wake up and start screaming.

.

Daenerys seems to want to do things differently this time. She travels on horseback and doesn't ride Drogon, she left him at the Red Keep. When they approach Storm's End, the peasants give them looks more curious than worried. She seems reassured by this welcome - indifferent if not hostile - but Jorah has better things to do than look around him: he's far too busy making sure that Jenny, sitting right in front of him, doesn't fall. It's very uncomfortable to ride in that position - Jon has the same problem with Duncan. It was Daenerys who insisted that, as they were approaching the castle, the children should be seen by everyone.

"This is ridiculous, Dany," Jon said.

She didn't even give him a look.

Jorah is worried, for now everything is fine, just for now, one spark could turn his tiny hopes to ashes. Jenny gets restless, whines a little, Daenerys doesn't realize that the blood of the dragon isn't everything. He strokes her silver hair and whispers soothing words to her.

"The castle isn't far. It's almost over."

.

"What are you trying to prove, showing off your children like that?"

Daenerys looks back, makes sure Jon and Jorah are too far away to hear her. Viserys is floating in the air beside her.

"I told you already. I want them to be loved."

"In the land of the Usurper?" he scoffs. "Good luck with that. Look at them. They're suspicious."

It is true that the peasants in front of whom they pass do not show the slightest desire to approach her, to cheer her.

(The smell of burning lingers.)

Daenerys shakes her head. She sees no hatred.

She doesn't look.

.

Gendry is friendly and respectful, immediately bends the knee before them, says he is honored to have the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms in his home. Daenerys glows, reassured, just some affection, that's all she wants, she doesn't ask for much.

"When will you open your eyes?" Viserys asks. "We lost everything because of his father. He got in bed with a she-wolf. You're a fool if you think he's loyal to you."

(Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.)

"The honor is all mine," Daenerys says, probably a little too loudly, she has to make Viserys and all the other ghosts shut up, she sees them gathering around her, they'll never leave her in peace, they'll follow her to the end of the world.

When Jorah suggests a walk in the gardens a few hours later, she nods and grabs his arm.

"Storm’s End is a beautiful castle," she says.

She tries not to think that this is where Robert Baratheon was born, tries to drive the former king out of her mind, he was just a cruel and weak deer, he doesn't matter.

"Yes, it is."

"I did well not to bring Drogon, didn't I? I know he can be scary. I don't want my people to be afraid. I want to be close to them."

(She wasn't riding Drogon when she was lifted up and called _Mhysa._ )

"Yes, Your Grace, it was a good decision."

Daenerys likes it when they agree, she feels like she's doing something good, like she's a good Queen, Jorah is often right so she's right too. Viserys doesn't think so, he almost tears his hair out.

"You are a disgrace to the Targaryens, Dany! Showing yourself without a dragon! What would our ancestors think?"

She sighs, has he forgotten that the dragons were gone before Drogon, Rhaegal and Viserion were born?

"I'm glad you came with me," she smiles. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I am your Hand, my place is with you. Now and always."

Her Hand. He is much more, has always been much more. Her knight in shining armor. Her best friend. Her faithful adviser. And what is he now? The father of her children - perhaps. There's something else, of course, something else she's not sure she can identify, something that drove her to ask him to come to her bedchamber after she got pregnant.

She looks around and then kisses him. He is startled, surprised, and immediately turns around.

"Don't be afraid, Jorah. No one is watching us."

(And even if someone was watching, she's the Queen. The blood of the dragon. She will do as she pleases. The dragon cannot be stopped.)

.

At night, ghosts dance in her room. Tyrion is one of them.

"I'll always find you," he says.

He grabs the hand of the little boy with golden hair and green eyes and walks away. Daenerys tries to wake up but she can't - it's all real.

The danger is real.

(Why is she the only one to see it? Are the others so blind?)

.

"Here are your future King and Queen. Duncan and Jaenerya Targaryen. The blood of the dragon flows through their veins."

Daenerys speaks with a clear and strong voice, it doesn't matter that Drogon is not there to breathe fire, flames sparkle in her eyes. Jorah remains silent. Daenerys stops several times at different places around Storm’s End to introduce her children.

It's always the same.

People bow. People clap politely. People force themselves not to lower their eyes while they all they want to do is hide.

There is no love here - just like there is no love anywhere.

(He wonders when Daenerys's smile will die for the last time.)

.

She tells him that the lemon trees in Dorne are as beautiful as those in Braavos when they wander through the gardens of Sunspear, where they sought shelter when the hostile whispers became too loud in their path.

No love. Lemons.

That's something, isn't it?

.

(The lemon tree in Braavos was never real. What about love? Did he make it all up to fill a void, just like her? Did he imagine what happened in Essos? Was it just a dream?)

.

Daenerys hates the Iron Islands, he can see it, it's a place made of water and salt, this is no place for fire-breathing dragons, yet she seems genuinely happy to be here, maybe because of Yara Greyjoy.

Jorah couldn't tell if the kraken's smile is sincere or as fake as the lemon tree.

"I'm so happy to see you again, Yara," Daenerys said.

"Welcome, Your Grace. I hope you'll enjoy your stay here."

She approaches the twins almost fearfully, politely refusing when Daenerys asks her if she wants to hold them in her arms.

"I'd rather not, Your Grace. I'm not very good with children."

Jon nods to Jorah, they walk away so they can talk where no one will hear them.

"Did you see the look on the Ironborn's face when they saw us coming?" Jon asks. "They hate us. They only dream of one thing, to push us off a cliff and watch us drown."

"They won't try anything against us. They respect Yara Greyjoy too much for that."

"Whatever. The damage is done."

They are silent, Yara and Daenerys join them, the Queen has realized that she is not wanted here, she looks desperate, he would like to take her in his arms and protect her from the cruelty of this world.

(Or protect the world from her cruelty?)

.

Yara has invited Daenerys to her bedchamber so that they can talk, she feels safe in that room, at least there she is sure that no one will try to murder her.

"Twins. You're very lucky."

Daenerys smiles.

"This is destiny."

Yara frowns, nods slightly, she doesn't seem to believe in it either.

"How are you? I miss you, you know. I'd like to see you more often in King's Landing."

"I'm fine, thank you. Unfortunately my responsibilities prevent me from travelling as often as I would like."

("She's lying to you, Dany. She wouldn't return to King's Landing for anything in the world.")

There's a knock on the door, an Ironborn comes in and asks to speak to Yara.

"Excuse me, I'll be right back."

Daenerys is curious, she walks over to Yara's desk, she knows she shouldn't but she can't help it. A letter catches her eye. She barely hesitates.

 _I am the Queen. I do as I please_.

(Later she will bitterly regret it.)

_Sansa,_

_I'm all right, don't worry about me. Everything is fine for now. I'll tell you everything in person, hopefully soon._

_I miss you._

_Yara._

Daenerys feels as if her blood turns to ice and freezes her inside, her wings are cut off, she falls, falls, crashes into the stormy sea, the water closes in on her and the fire goes out immediately. She puts the letter back on the desk, the spark of doubt ignites, it is too late to turn back, far too late.

"What did I tell you?" Viserys snaps. "Water resembles ice more than fire does. She's going to let you down soon, Dany. They're all going to let you down."

.

Daenerys doesn't say anything about the letter when Yara comes back.

She preferred the howl of the she-wolf and the ice. So be it.

Her smile becomes cold.

.

"They don't love me," she says to Viserys as the two of them watch the ghosts plotting around them.

She feels like crying, the loveless Queen, that's how she will be remembered. Her lemon-scented dreams are slowly fading, melting away among the distant, cold and unreal stars.

"It doesn't matter. Love doesn't matter. Wake the dragon, Dany. Fear is what will keep you on the Iron Throne."

.

Daenerys no longer smiles when they go to the Westerlands, the last stop of their journey. Jorah is looking for something to say to reassure her, anything, anything to give her back her faith, her hope, to give her back her flaming glow.

(He finds nothing, of course.)

The murmurs are suspicious in Lannisport. The lions' den, the dragons' mortal enemies. Jorah knows the last of the Lannisters are kept here, closely guarded. Distant cousins of Cersei and Tyrion and a few golden-haired and green-eyed bastards.

(Nothing for Daenerys to worry about - or so he hopes.)

"Let's hurry," she says. "I want to reach Casterly Rock before nightfall."

What happens next is so fast, so absurd that Jorah doesn't even have time to make a move. A desperate man emerges from the crowd and rushes towards the Dragon Queen with a dagger in his hand. Daenerys falls off her horse, her scream gets stuck in her throat. She owes her salvation only to the rapidity of the Unsullied, who grab her attacker and bring him to his knees.

Jorah rushes towards her. Jenny starts crying, he clumsily tries to comfort her.

"Your Grace? Are you all right?"

She doesn’t take his outstretched hand, looking bewildered, eyes wide open. The bells tinkle in her hair.

( _Ring the bells! Ring the bells!_ )

The Queen approaches the man. She does not smile. Her eyes burn with an evil fire.

"What is your name?"

"Tytos Hill," he spits out.

A bastard. A bastard with golden hair and green eyes. Jorah gives Jon a worried look. They know what it means, of course.

"Do you know who I am?" Daenerys asks in a cold voice.

Tytos is going to die. He's going to die, and he knows it, yet his lips twist into an arrogant smile. He raises his eyebrows, defiant.

"A foreign whore who has no place in Westeros. That's what you are."

"I am Daenerys Targaryen. The blood of the dragon flows through my veins. I am the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, and you, Tytos Hill, are nothing. And you will die for nothing."

She nods to the Unsullied who are holding him. Jorah quickly presses Jenny against him so that she doesn't see anything of the bloody scene that follows.

No sooner has the blood splashed on the ground than Daenerys immediately turns to the other Unsullied.

"I thought all the Lannisters and their bastards were guarded and closely watched."

"They are, Your Grace. This one must have managed to escape."

Daenerys looks coldly at the corpse, then looks up at Casterly Rock. The castle almost seems to taunt her. The crowd has dispersed, everyone has fled before Tytos Hill has completely bled to death. The Queen gets back on her horse as if nothing happened.

"Let's go."

.

(The glint of madness is so big that he wonders how he could not have seen it before).


	14. Chapter 14

The setting sun sets the sky ablaze when they arrive at Casterly Rock. If she were not the Queen, if she had not won, Daenerys might have been intimidated, impressed. Perhaps.

(But she _is_ the Queen.)

This is a great moment tasting like past glory, bitter defeat. That is what this castle represents, after all. A splendor, a power that touched the sun before being cast into the shadows forever.

_What would Tyrion say if he saw me here? What would Cersei say?_

"It doesn't matter what they'd say," Viserys reminds her. "What they will do, however..."

"Let's hurry," Daenerys says as if she hadn't heard anything. "The children are exhausted."

It's a beautiful castle, she must admit it. There is a reason why the Lannisters were the richest family in Westeros, their hair was the color of the gold that filled their coffers. All power has its limits, of course. Gold was of no use to them when Aegon the Conqueror landed, when he brought the King of the Rock to his knees. The gold she looted from Highgarden didn't help Cersei when the Red Keep collapsed around her.

Daenerys wants to explore, to violate this castle, to make it her own, even if it already belongs to her. It's late, though. The sun is fading. It can wait until tomorrow.

"Find a room for the children," she says to Jon.

She doesn't wait for him to nod and walks away with her head high.

Around her, the shadows of the lions of the past are lurking.

(They don't know it's a waste of time. What can a lion do against a dragon?)

_._

( _You don't belong here. Go away._ )

.

She wanders through the corridors, wondering where Tyrion’s bedchamber is, which one belonged to Cersei and Jaime. She is certain her former Hand has already told her when they were preparing the attack on Casterly Rock.

(Did he know that it would be a total failure? Was he already planning to betray her?)

"You have a bad memory."

Daenerys is not surprised. She knew he'd come. She was waiting for him - this is his home, after all.

"I don’t look back," she replies. "That's different."

Tyrion shrugs, starts moving forward.

"Are you coming?"

She follows him through the dark corridors. He stops at a door.

"This was Cersei's bedchamber. And Jaime’s, sometimes..."

Daenerys understands the insinuation but doesn’t react.

"And yours?"

"Right here," he said, pointing to the next door. "I could hear them, sometimes... they weren't discreet, if you ask me, but who could have caught them? We had no mother. Our father had better things to do than look after us - especially me. Cersei frightened the servants so much that they hardly dared to pass here."

Daenerys hesitates, makes a move towards Cersei’s bedchamber and then changes her mind. She doesn't want to spend the night surrounded by the memory of her enemy.

Tyrion's bedchamber is dark, the furniture is covered in dust. She sits on the bed silently, almost uncomfortably.

"Do you consider Casterly Rock your home?" she asks.

His green eyes seem to glow in the darkness.

"What do you think a home is?"

(A red door. A lemon tree.)

"It's a place where you're happy."

"Well... I guess Casterly Rock is my home, then. Just like the Red Keep... just like this place where I'm hiding."

"Your father hated you. Cersei hated you... how could you be happy?"

She knows, of course. How could she not? The answer is one word. One name.

"Jaime," she says.

"Of course. I loved my brother. I never would have survived without him."

"Family..."

The words are bitter on her tongue. She has her own family now, children, yet she's still jealous of the Lannisters because of the unbreakable bond between them. The blood of lions. She lies down and looks up at the ceiling with her hands folded over her belly.

"Why did you really save Cersei?" Daenerys finally asks.

Tyrion lies down beside her.

"What do you think?"

She thinks of Sansa's words when she told her that they would never get along. That they hated each other.

"How can you love her after everything she's done to you?"

He sighs.

"You don't get to choose your family. You don't choose who you love."

"You loved me."

That's not a question. He shrugs.

"I guess I did."

"And you left. You loved me and you let me down."

"I did."

"Don't you regret anything?"

"What about you?"

She remembers her dreams. Drogon. Fire. The corpse of a burned child in the arms of her own corpse.

"I cannot regret. Regret is looking back. If I look back, I am lost."

He takes one last look at her and gets up. He abandons her. One more time.

"I hate you," she says before he disappears. "I hate you, but I miss you."

Tyrion turns around. He looks older, more tired. Maybe he's tired of hiding, maybe he knows he's going to be found.

"I miss you, but I can't forgive you for what you've done."

He nods sternly.

"I can't forgive you either."

Her former Hand disappears into the shadows.

.

She has a beautiful dream that night, a recollection of an old conversation she had with Tyrion.

"To love someone is to feel like you're flying," he says. "It's like swimming on the bottom of the ocean and touching the stars. It has the smell of hope and the taste of freedom. To love is to believe that anything is possible."

Daenerys listens to him, her eyes sparkle, she thinks of Duncan and Jenny, how he gave up the throne to marry his beloved. How she would like to know that feeling. She hopes Tyrion will marry someday, she wishes for him to find a nice wife to whom he can talk about stars and freedom.

"Oh, Tyrion, you're so poetic when you talk about love!"

  
.

(She couldn't remember that Tyrion's eyes shone so brightly when he looked at her. Was he describing the feelings he had for her?)

.

When Daenerys wakes up, she doesn't scream, she doesn't tremble. The images of her dream still linger in her mind.

(Tyrion… smiling at her. Loving her.)

She stands up, she's cold, the absence of love creates an icy emptiness inside her. She feels as if snowflakes are covering her skin, her hair, as if she were buried under a mountain of snow.

The bells ring in her hair. The ghosts from King's Landing scream when they see her. The people flee from her.

Daenerys takes her head in his hands and begins to cry.

.

("They tried to kill you, Dany. That Lannister bastard was only the first. They'll try again.")

.

Daenerys is moving away from Casterly Rock.

Before the castle disappears for good behind her, she turns around and looks back. Tyrion appears and frowns.

"You should beware," he warns. "Lions still have claws. All these people you're keeping under guard... if they find out we're alive, they'll come to our aid immediately. They'll help us get our power back."

After this warning, he fades away. Daenerys is trembling slightly. Her enemies are awaiting their time, they are patient, they have been waiting for almost three years already. Tyrion is right. Lions still have claws.

"Your Grace? " says Jorah. "Is all well?"

"Yes, don't worry. Let's just go home."

When she returns to the safety of the Red Keep, she sighs with relief, runs through the gardens and lays her hands on the trunk of the lemon tree.

(The red door. The lemon tree. Her home. She didn't make it up, Viserys is a liar.)

Daenerys can't help but think of Tyrion's words, he's bound to be right, lions are enemies of dragons, they always have been, how could she be so naive as to think that putting them under surveillance would be enough? How could she think they'd keep quiet?

The day Cersei and Tyrion return, they'll have allies. Their family. They'll rise up against her. They'll invade the Red Keep. They'll uproot the lemon tree, they'll steal her home.

They'll sneak into Duncan and Jenny's room and cut their throats, and there's nothing Daenerys will be able to do to save them. The glorious blood of the dragon will be spilled, destroyed, wiped out. As if it never existed.

Jorah walks over to her, he’s smiling, how could she share her doubts with him? He would try to reassure her, he wouldn't understand, he's not the one who has a destiny to fulfill, he's not the one who was almost murdered, he's not the one who hears the ghosts of Cersei and Tyrion screaming their desire for revenge.

She needs to do something.

.

"I could throw them in the cells of the Keep."

Viserys laughs scornfully.

"Is that all?"

"What do you mean? What do you want me to do?"

He walks up to her, touches the bells in her hair, makes them tinkle.

"You know what you need to do, Dany. You know what you need to do so that they're no longer a threat."

Her heart beats faster when she understands what he means.

"No, I'm not a monster. I only punish tyrants."

"You're not a monster, Dany. You're a survivor. A dragon. And those lions are threatening you. That bastard almost killed you. Do you think the others will be more hesitant if they get a chance to kill you?"

"No," she repeats. "That would be a vile act. Abject. I would lose the love of my people."

"What love? They don't love you. They have never loved you and they never will. You have only one option left."

The bells in his hair keep ringing even after he's faded.

( _Wake the dragon_.)

.

"Jorah?"

"Yes, Your Grace?"

"Summon the last of the Lannisters and their bastards to King's Landing."

.

Jorah greets the Lannisters in the courtyard of the Red Keep, an ocean of golden hair, they are escorted by the Unsullied and look terrified.

"Welcome," he says in a reassuring voice. "You have nothing to fear, I promise you."

A child escapes his mother's supervision and approaches him.

"You are the Hand of the Queen!" the little boy with laughing green eyes says as he points to his pin.

"I am," he nods, amused. "And in a few moments, you will see the Queen."

"And the dragon? Can I see the dragon?"

"Loren!"

A woman walks away from the group and grabs his hand.

"Come here. I told you not to move away!"

Jorah notices that she's trembling, do they really think Daenerys has summoned them to execute them, all because of their name and the blood flowing in their veins?

(He tries to forget that this thought briefly crossed his mind.)

"Don't be afraid," he says gently. "No harm will come to you."

The woman frowns and quickly turns away. She doesn't believe him.

Jon, who's seen the whole scene, joins him.

"I don't like this. I don't like this at all."

"She won't touch them. We've already discussed this. She just wants to make sure they're loyal."

Jon gives him a sorry look.

"Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?"

.

(Daenerys told him that she wouldn't hurt them. She'd never lie to him, would she?)

.

"Thank you for coming."

Daenerys is sitting on the Iron Throne. The Lannisters have knelt down before her, they keep looking down, except for little Loren who can't take his eyes off the dragon skulls in the room. Jorah catches his eye, they smile at each other.

"You're probably wondering why I haven't killed you yet. Why I let you live with Lannister blood running through your veins."

About twenty of them are still alive. Nothing to worry Daenerys. She knows they are no threat. She must know that.

"I let you live because you're not responsible for Cersei Lannister's crimes. You don't get to choose your family after all."

Loren doesn't seem to understand the importance of the moment, he's bored and only wants to run around the room.

"However," Daenerys continues. "I was attacked while I was visiting Lannisport. One of your cousins tried to kill me. He was not loyal to me and he paid the price. I need to make sure you don't go down the same path."

They're holding their breath.

"I'm willing to let you leave Lannisport and go wherever you want. For that, you will renounce the Lannister name. You'll never mention them again, you'll forget them. You'll all have a bastard name. Lions are a thing of the past. The time of dragons has come. Accept it, and you will live."

They look at each other for a few seconds and all nod frantically.

(Of course they accept, Jorah is sure Daenerys didn't doubt it. No one says no to the dragon.)

The Queen's face breaks into a smile.

"Perfect. To celebrate our new friendship, a feast will be held in your honor."

Jorah smiles at his Queen.

He knew it. He knew she'd do the right thing, that she'd be fair.

Jon looks down.

.

The Lannisters look much more relaxed than when they arrived, the servants move about and fill their glasses, the children run between the tables. Little Loren seems to be imitating a dragon. He doesn't know about ashes, how could he? He's so young.

"I'm going to see how the twins are," Jon announces as he gets up.

He leaves the room without turning back. Daenerys doesn't try to hold him back, turns to Jorah.

"Can you go talk to him?" she asks. "I think he's upset about something."

"Oh. Of course."

She briefly squeezes his hand to thank him. The sound of the conversations accompanies him as he leaves the room.

(He likes this sound - it's the sound of life.)

Jon is in the twins' room, watching them sleep, upset. Jorah joins him, they remain silent for long minutes.

"Is something wrong?" he asks.

"I don't know," Jon answers. "Not yet."

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

He shakes his head.

"She wouldn't do that. You heard her. All she wants is their loyalty."

The King lets out a bitter laugh.

"Do you think she'd trust a lion again after the way Cersei, Jaime and Tyrion betrayed her?"

The answer is simple, obvious, and it horrifies him.

( _No. Of course not_.)

.

"You did the right thing, Dany," Viserys congratulates her.

"I know," she replies, as if to convince herself. "I know."

.

Jorah runs down the stairs and the corridors to the feast hall. The sound of the conversations has disappeared. He enters the room fearfully.

The Lannisters have collapsed on the tables. They look peaceful, as if they were asleep. Only Daenerys is still conscious, slowly drinking a glass of wine. Jorah moves, he feels like he's having a nightmare, it can't be, she can't have done this, it must be a bad dream.

He stumbles over something, realizes that it's the body of little Loren, the ghost of his last smile still floating on his face. He falls to his knees, his hands shaking.

"What the..."

Jon walks in. Jorah knows that if he was holding something, he would have definitely dropped it.

"What have you done, Daenerys?"

He rushes to one of the tables, touches a woman's cheek, shakes her as if to wake her up. It's too late, of course. It was too late by the time they reached King's Landing.

(Invisible ashes begin to fall.)

"You killed them all!" Jon shouts.

Daenerys remains calm, stands up, looks with regret at the dead lions.

"I couldn't let them live, Jon. They threatened me. They threatened the children. Our future."

"Threatened you? There are barely twenty of them, Daenerys! Twenty of them! What harm could they have done?"

"One of them tried to kill me! They would have found a way. They would have sided with Tyrion and Cersei as soon as they got back to Westeros."

"Children ... children, Daenerys ..."

"How could I have spared them? They would have grown up, and they would have wanted to avenge their parents."

Jorah is unable to think, if he got up he would immediately fall down, he strokes Loren's hair as if to comfort him, just like he does with Jenny and Duncan.

Jon is furious, he grabs a cup full of wine and throws it across the room.

"You've broken the laws of hospitality!" he shouts. "You invited them into your house, you gave them food and drink..."

"Jon..."

"You know what this reminds me of? The Red Wedding!"

Daenerys widens her eyes, as if this comparison was unwelcome, as if she hadn't just committed a terrible crime. Jon, desperate, glares at her in disgust and walks out of the room. She approaches Jorah and falls to her knees.

"I had to do it," she whispers. "I had no choice. They would have betrayed me too, I know. They would've taken my home from me, they would've killed my children… they would've killed me."

She grabs his arm, holds it tight, he crosses her desperate gaze.

"I didn't want to, I assure you. But I had no choice... you know that, don't you, Jorah? They didn't suffer, I had essence of nightshade poured into the water and the wine... they just fell asleep. I had no choice..."

He doesn’t answer, bewildered. She wraps her arms around his waist and starts crying.

"I love you," she says. "I've been blind all these years... but I know now. I love you. Please don't leave me."

He hugs her back and cries too, he cries for these lives sacrificed, for what she is becoming, he cries because he loves her too much to hate her and it may be a curse.

_._

(He has dreamt of these three words. _I love you_. Why did she turn the dream into a nightmare? Why?)


End file.
